Ashtanga Oz

Assisted Dropbacks

2006-06-29T11:17:00.000-07:00

I was introduced to dropbacks this morning and "Oh my God! How amazing are they!!!!". Up to today I was doing 3 or 4 rounds of 5-8 breaths each of standard Urdhva Dhanurasana. My teacher asked when was I going to try dropbacks, so I said how bout now, so we did. When going back for the first time I got all of these memories from when I was learning backflips at gymnastics when I was younger, it was unreal! I felt like my heart was opening to the universe and all of this loving energy was pulsating through every cell in my body, making me feel so alive and relaxed and uplifted. It makes sense that backbends are so intense because of the spinal cord and nerve roots. I kind of get a similar feeling in the Marichasanas but with back bending I get the extra rush of being inverted too. The thrill of dropping back and coming back up is so addictive.

The rest of my practice went well despite struggling to get out of bed and feeling tired when I hit the mat. I've really been struggling to get up in the mornings of late. My energy levels have been lower than normal first thing in the morning. Funny though because I had a lot more energy for practice than I thought.

Can't think of what else to write as I'm still riding this euphoric wave of dropback bliss. Happy bending people!

Night Practice

2006-06-23T13:55:00.000-07:00

Wednesday night I went to the studio to practice as I wasn't able to make it there Thursday morning. It's the second time I've ever practiced at night and what a difference it is. I much prefer mornings though because the energy is fresher and I'm able to concentrate better and feel more relaxed, but there was some benefit to practicing at night. One was flexibility. I felt a lot more flexible than in the mornings and was able to go deeper in some asanas which was nice. But I felt the energy of that time of night (6pm) was just too chaotic for me. I found it harder to concentrate and relax and flow with the practice. I had too much energy and it really made a difference. It felt more like calisthenics which for a change I didn't mind, but I missed the meditative side of my practice. Overall, it felt like a really good physical workout which isn't yoga, but it was still nice. I had some great adjustments which was awesome too.

CC

2006-06-21T08:56:00.000-07:00

I can't really pinpoint why, but for the past two days I've really struggled to get out of bed in time to head to the studio for practice. I wake up and feel like I've been asleep for years. It being winter and freezing outside hasn't helped. But that's never bothered me in the past, so why now? My diet hasn't changed, I'm eating well, and getting enough sleep. I guess I'm just requiring more discipline. I'll see how the next couple of days go. The other thing I asked myself was if I don't make it up in time to get to the studio, why aren't I doing practice at home? Why do I feel so compelled to only practice at the studio? I just don't feel like me for some reason. Well, that's it then. Tonight I'm doing a smaller practice at home and then I'm making sure I get up in time for practice tomorrow. I don't need to feel like this and choose not too. If I need more discipline then I can face this challenge head on.

A's in Sydney for a couple of days visiting his father and stepmum as he has the week off work. I'm staying at his place looking after the place and our little ball of fluff, CC. She's about 18 months old and is so small. I love it when she sleeps against my chest under the covers and purrs so loudly it sends me off to sleep. Last night I was reading on the couch and she jumps up and lays across my neck so I couldn't see my book and just stares at me pretending to be innocent...so cute!

Bendy Woman

2006-06-16T16:26:00.000-07:00

First of all, check this clip out if you haven't seen it already.

http://www.devilducky.com/media/39096/

It's insane! I had to rewind over and over again just make sure I was seeing it correctly. What must her bones be like? I've got a sore back just from watching it. I've never seen anything like it. It's bloody unreal!

Had a fantastic long weekend away at Inverloch. Adam and I arrived Friday night around 9pm before anyone else and we had about an hour to kill before someone arrived with the keys. So we bought some wine and had a couple of glasses under the moon on the beach. It was cold but romantic and peaceful. Everyone showed up with a total of about 16 of us or something like that. We had heaps of food, we sang songs, drummed, played Native American flute, had a roaring fire, massages, walks, etc. Some great moments for me included getting a lomi lomi massage by three friends in front of the fireplace, with one person playing didgeridoo and three others toning with their voices while I was massaged. I totally blissed out as you can imagine. Other moments included chanting, toning and playing flute on the beach to stunned looks by the locals, playing "The Transformation Game" which is a board game where you give yourself a really long spiritual reading - uncannily accurate for the four of us who played, and of course several D & M's over the weekend. The next weekend organised will be Melbourne cup weekend in November where over four days we'll be doing a Sweat Lodge, drumming, clay art/sculpture, and whatever else pops up in between now and then.

I had saturday - monday off from practice - bad man! The house was completely full and there was no where to do my usual practice. Outside was hopeless too as it was sooooo cold. So I just did some simple strectches in the small space I could find, nothing exciting. I tell you, three days off felt like weeks. I hate missing practice. But the rest of the week has been really good. The kurmasanas and mari D are coming along nicely.

I was sitting in the sun during my lunch break reading Gregor's book, when I started to realise how my life is centering more and more around yoga. From reading book after book, to scheduling almost everything around my practice, to blogging, reading blogs, and spending more and more time doing spiritual things like medicine drumming, playing Native flute, pranayama exercises, spending time alone relaxing and feeling connected to Spirit. There's something really calming and fulfilling about it all.

This morning I booked and paid for a three day anatomy and physiology yoga workshop at the studio next month. The focus is on core strength, spinal support, injury prevention, hip joint movements and protecting your joints - both theory and practice.

Had a meeting yesterday afternoon at work with my dad and brother (directors of the business) and they gave a me a little cash bonus and all my car services fully paid for from now on. Sweet! I'm in real need of a new wardrobe so I'll be shopping most of the weekend with the little bonus. I haven't bought myself clothes in a long time. Yoga clothes, pants, shoes and a good winter jacket are in order.

I Bound in D Yippee

2006-06-08T15:34:00.000-07:00

I bound in Marichyasana D for the first time this morning. I was so focused on my breathing and with keeping the flow of my practice going that I just went straight into D and bound without thinking twice about it. When I came out of it I was in shock that I just went into it the way I did. It felt unreal! Can't wait to practice tomorrow :)

Practice has been really good this week. Monday I was really tired for some reason which affected the practice, but the rest of the week I had lots of energy and am enjoying my practice on a whole new level. I guess I'm picking up lots of little tid bits from Gregor's book. For example, I didn't realise that in Chaturanga I have only been lowering to be parallel with my arms instead of lowering further. And now I've become much more aware of distributing the weight evenly in my legs and feet in the standing postures which has helped a lot. I also realised that I was not far enough forward (I don't mean bending) but forward on my feet in Prasarita Padottanasana A-D. Lots of little things from his book are helping my practice and I've only read a little bit.

Long weekend this weekend and I'm off to a holiday house with friends for three days by the sea. Drumming on the beach, good food, lots of laughter, star gazing, singing, dancing, snuggling round the fire, and of course yoga. A few friends are bringing their mats and I'll be taking them through some yoga.

Supta Kurmasana

2006-06-02T13:26:00.000-07:00

Firstly, a very big "thank you" to the wonderful Julie for this new look Ashtangi.NET. It looks unreal and I'm sure everyone else will agree. From your blog it sounds like your working way too much. Make sure you take some time out just for you :)

I'm feeling pleased with how my practice is progressing at the moment. Yesterday I was given Supta Kurmasana and it felt awesome. My feet are not yet behind my head but I feel it's not too far away. I've always wondered what it would be like to have my feet behind my head. I'm kinda excited about it. I'm having a bit trouble getting my feet under in Bhujapidasana and have trouble getting back up, but I'm sure I'll get there. I don't have the strength to do Tittibhasana properly and it feels like it's miles away until I have it. It must feel awesome to have the strength to do Bhujapidasana properly with the jumping to Tittibhasana and Bakasana etc. I'm not in a rush but thoughts of wondering how I'll ever get the strength to do so float into and out of my mind.

Speaking of thoughts entering the mind during practice, today I had really annoying thoughts. Today was my 6th practice for the week and by this stage I'm usually pretty tired. This morning was a 2 hr led class. I found that during practice today I was not focused enough and had too many thoughts running through my mind. I noticed myself worrying too much about doing the asanas correctly. It was so tiring. I felt like I was competing with myself and it felt horrible. So, about 3/4 of the way thru the class I just stopped and did a small closing sequence and then had an extra long shavasana. I was exhausted. I certainly wasn't going to push myself, so deciding to finish early was just what I needed. It felt great to not think about anything and to relax in shavasana. I couldn't have been happier. Yay for rest day tomorrow.

For those who have not got Gregor's book, "Ashtanga Yoga Practice & Philospohy" I highly recommend it. I can't put it down. I love all the extra bits on anatomy which I've been keen to learn more about. The second half of the book contains the Yoga Sutra. Well worth every penny.

A's neti pot arrived the other day and he's loving it. It's a hand-made ceramic one from somewhere in Brisbane. It feels good when your partner takes an interest in yoga. He currently does one class a week at the studio and couple of practices at home to a dvd I have. And now after seeing me do Jala Neti and hearing me talk about the amazing effects it has, he's decided to include it into his daily routine. He's also been cooking lots of vegetarian recipes using organic produce. I guess it feels good to be with someone who understands and takes an interest in yoga. Okay, enough with the soppy stuff but it's exciting :)

The weekend ahead will be the usual Chai Hill with friends S and A and then I'm attempting to cook a new indian recipe, my favourite dal makhani saturday night, then spending Sunday doing a 2hr led followed by a day of reading curled up on the couch. Ah, the good life.

Sacred Earth - Vinyasa Dip

2006-05-26T16:58:00.000-07:00

The alarm went off at 4.55am this morning but as I turned it off, I must have fallen back asleep because I woke up again at 5.40am 20mins before G's 2 hr led class. I was pissed off! I wasn't going to make into the city in time for the class so instead I remained in bed. I was toying with the idea of still getting up and doing a practice at home, but I fell back asleep. My warm bed was just too easy to drift away in, plus it was only 5 degrees outside. So once I finish work, I'm going home to practice, and then have a relaxing hot bath and listen to my new cd by Sacred Earth that I bought during my lunchbreak along with an awesome wooden candle holder for Adam. I'll give it to him after work. Apparently he's making a big dinner for us tonight...yay! He's been trying all these new recipes lately and they are sooooo good. I'm so spoiled.

I was watching David Swenson's Primary DVD again last night, and reading John Scott's book and Guruji's book and realised these are a lot of differences between them. Mainly in technique and sequence. Some stand up between asanas, others don't. I especially liked how David does a dip from upward dog to downward dog. I've been trying this in my practice and it's unreal! A great way to build up extra strength. Basically from upward facing dog you go back to chataranga and then back to downward dog instead of upward face straight to downward dog.

Well, I'd write more, but I've finished work and have to close up. Have a great weekend people! :)

In the Moment yet Lost

2006-05-24T11:44:00.000-07:00

Practice is going really well at the moment. There's heaps I want to work on but that's part of practising daily and having patience (a big lesson for scorpio's).

David Swenson's first series dvd arrived yesterday and I spent last night watching it. It's unreal! It makes me feel a whole lot better about my practice and I've got some great tips from it.

'B' suggested I activate my thigh muscles more in Prasarita Padottanasana A - D. I found this most helpful. It's funny how you don't realise you do or don't do certain things in your practice until someone brings your attention to it.

I ordered "Ashtanga Yoga: Practice and Philosophy" by Gregor Maehle which seems like an excellent book. I'm especially interested in the anatomy/physiology side of things thru it. I love learning about the body. It has some tips and hints thoughout it for opening hips, etc. I'll let you know what it's like once I get it.

I've been feeling two major things lately. 1) very relaxed and carefree and in the moment, and then 2) lost and confused and thinking way too much about the future. I've been flipping from one to two and back again ever since I finished the NLP course. Because there was so much infomration crammed into that 2 week period, I feel ike it's slipped away from my mind and I can't apply it to my current situation. Then when I'm talking to people I realise how much I've retained. I can't help but wonder why I'm swinging emotionally. I'm wanting to find something I can do career wise. I want to leave my current job (recognising that it is still a great job), but want to do something more to my liking. Something in the natural therpy area would be great. Then I could perhaps teach yoga part time (not until I'm further along my yogi path) and then do something else part time. I dunno. All I know is that I love yoga, massage, natural therapies, learning about anatomy and movement, and helping other people. I'll put something out to the universe to give me a nice nudge. After every practice in the morning, everything feels great. That's a plus. I'm tired of feeling lost and figure it's time to do something about it. Easier said than done.

Why do I sometimes feel much more emotional since doing Ashtanga? Is this normal?

I'm going to hop back on my mat again and do some salutations and then meditate. Maybe I'll give myself a medicine card reading too.

Back in the Grove Baby! Yoga Community

2006-05-17T14:24:00.000-07:00

Finally I'm back doing my morning practice at the studio. Goddamn it feels good to be back. Over the past month I've done some practices at home but certainly not as often as I'd have liked. So much for doing it each day. Oh well, not worth stressing over. But I'm back into the full swing of it now doing 6 days a week of practice up to Kurmasana. Practice this week has been great. I'm just easing back into it all. I woke up with a few sore muscles, but nothing worth worrying about. I sat for about 15 mins on my mat this morning before I started and just looked out of the window at the stars, smelled the fresh chai cooking in the next room, observed as much as I could around me, the sounds, smells, feeling of my cotton mat on legs, etc and I remembered just how lucky and grateful I am to be alive. To be able to fully experience every breath, to be happy where I am with everything in my life regardless of the not so great things, to be able to do my practice and share and communicate with Spirit every second, to just be alive and experiencing all that is available to me. I had this same experience again in Shavasana, this time with a few tears rolling down my cheek as I lay there in that Shavasana-high.

I've been surfing the net reading about food and diets, especially sattvic and ayurvedic foods. For the first time in my life I'm taking a serious look at my diet. I do eat well, but could certainly benefit from several changes. I don't eat much meat (probably once every few months if that), lots of fruit and veggies, no dairy , no wheat, I have soy milk, etc etc. I've only started buying all my fruit and veggies from a certified organic grocer. The difference is amazing. My partner oftens buys organic but I've never really done that. So now I am. The smells and tastes are much more potent. Sure they cost more, but in my eyes it's worth it. How many other yogis buy organic produce? What kind of effort do you put into your eating plan?

The other new activity (I know I've said this before) is actually trying new recipes. I finally bought myself The Ayurvedic Cookbook and am going to try a couple of recipes each week. So I'll let you know how they go. I can cook but I don't know many recipes. I've always loved cooking but I have no idea why I never really got more interested in it. I guess now, I have a lot of reasons to do so.

I've been thinking about this blog a lot lately. Thinking about what to write about, why I write, what do I want on it, how often do I want to do it, etc. I guess some days I frown upon it because blogs appear kinda self-important. Why would someone want to prove their own self-importance. Sure people can say oh no, I write for myself (bingo!) or to entertain others (what purpose would you do that?), but for me I have no idea. i just like writing it. Perhaps it's a mixture of both. I think I really started it so that I could look back on my yogi journey and see how far I've come. But then I wonder why I would want to see that. So I think in the end it doesn't really matter. I just do what I like doing and that's that. I just sometimes like finding the reasons I do certain things to better understand myself. To see where to remove self-importance perhaps, I dunno. Enough said, I like blogging every now and then and that's that. I wish I had more time to put up some pics or create an image header, but that will have to be down the track. I'd like to blog everyday, but I'll just blog when I have time and when I feel like it. Mind you, I always find the time to read blogs and see what other ashtangi's are up to round the world. There's a lot to learn from eachother and that's really comforting :)

I was reading some comments on Ezeboard about yoga being lonely for some people and it caught my attention. I guess it can be for some. I know some places have a great yoga community and others don't. The studio I attend is a fantastic studio, but I've been thinking about the social side of it. Most people rock up, do their practice and go. I guess I've been pondering the idea of starting some sort of night or gathering where we can get together and have a social thing. But I'm lost for ideas. I'd love to create a little more community for those that are open to it. I'm usually against the idea of community for my own reasons, but not in the sense of getting to know and meet new people. I think it's a great idea. To anyone reading this - what are your experiences with yoga and perhaps the studio you attend? Are there social nights or some sort or satsangs I think they're called. I'm curious as to what other studios offer for their yogis to meet new people, etc. What have you found useful in getting to know other ashtangi's?

Well, no more dreadlocks. I had them for 3 weeks and got rid of them. I just couldn't be bothered with them. There are very high maintenance. I got my partner to shave my head and I have to say, it's bliss. Showering is easy, sleeping on my back is easy, yoga is sooooooo much easier. I'm lovin' it. No more long hair for me again :)

Update

2006-04-21T11:51:00.000-07:00

Well, this is long overdue. This is just a small update of what's going on in my world. I've just come back from 6 days camping in the Aussie bush at Confest. It was an amazing time and I learnt a lot about myself there. I also learnt how to make and maintain dreadlocks (I'm getting mine done finally in a couple of days). I had my first lock put in during this workshop. I was told it is tradition to name your first dread. Well, mine is Rusty. I have no idea why I chose that, but it seemed to be appropriate at the time. I also did a couple of hypnotic language workshops and a rebirthing workshop which was quite insightful.

I got back from Confest on Tuesday and have had all week off to digest everything, do mountains of washing, clean the house, etc etc. i thought I was supposed to relax. Hmpf! Anyways, I start my Basic Practioner NLP course on Monday for two weeks and can't wait!

I haven't been to ythe studio in a couple of weeks and wont for the next two as my course is on the opposite side of town and I can't make it in time, so I'll be continuing my practice at home each day. Then after the course, I can finally get back to the studio each morning. It feels like it's been way too long since I was there last. But at least I'm still maintaining practice at home. So hello to everyone there :)

That's my little update for now, I'll be back in a couple of weeks. Happy bending everyone :)

Medicine

2006-03-08T14:21:00.000-08:00

Back to the studio after a week off of being unwell. I had a stomach bug of some sort and was unable to practice, but now I'm back on track.

Practice today went really well considering I'd had about a week off. I was worried I'd lose some of my flexibility but didn't really notice any huge difference. Actually I seemed to get further in some asanas than I normally do. My breathing was a lot quicker, but still deep, and I managed to finish earlier than I normally would. This gave me more time to work on my backbending and a good 15 minute shavasana.

I'm trying to think what else has been going on....I really struggle sometimes with what to write about. Well, I just finished "The Teahcings of Don Juan" and am waiting on Carlos' second book, "A separate reality" to arrive in the mail. I've also got an NLP book arriving any day now too. Speaking of NLP, I've finally booked in to do the practitioner course which starts on April 24th and goes to May 5th. It starts only a couple of days after ConFest which is perfect timing. Every year a group of friends and I take a week off and rough it up camping in the aussie bush. It's a wonderful place to share our 'medicines' with each other. 'Medicine', for those that don't know, refers not to medication, but to an array of concepts, ideas and gifts from Spirit which includes ourselves.

New Asanas & Castaneda

2006-02-28T10:36:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's been so long since my last post. Well, it's been a great couple of weeks. Practice is going really well. I've been able to include all the padmasana type asanas I had been doing variations of back into my practice. My knee is not causing any problem now. Today I was given Marichyasana D, Navasana and Bhuja Pindasana. It was exciting getting these asanas. I was also told by my teacher that I don't have to wait to receive new asanas from him. If I feel it's time for a new asana I can speak to him about it. Cool! :)

I've been watching David Swensons Advanced A & B on DVD. It's so awesome. Definitely worth a look at if you can get your hands on it. Chakorasana is one of my favs, not only does it look good but I like the idea of a mythical bird feeding on moonbeams. How cool is that! The interviews on the dvd were also interesting.

Yesterday I booked into the Basic Certificate in NLP course starting in April for 10 days. I'm so excited about it.

'A' and I had our 12 month anniversary yesterday. Boy did that year go quick! I had to work yesterday so we celebrated on the weekend. We both had Shiatsu massages, both did a led class (I did my usual sunday class, and 'A' did the beginner's), spent Saturday at Chai Hill, visited some friends and generally relaxed, cooked dinner, and just spent a lovely weekend together.

Finished reading "Light on Life". It was quite fullon in some parts but I'll definitely be reading it again down the track to pick up more out of it. I've just finished reading "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel. I'm now re-reading "The Teachings of Don Juan" by Carlos Castaneda. One of my all time favourite books.

From Wikipedia......."Carlos Castaneda, previously Castañeda, (December 25, 1925 – April 27, 1998) was an author of a controversial series of books that claimed to describe his training in traditional Native American shamanism (ancient Toltec sorcery).

Castaneda claimed to have met a Yaqui shaman named Don Juan Matus in 1960. Castaneda's experiences with Don Juan allegedly inspired the works for which he is known. He claimed to have inherited from don Juan the position of nagual, or leader of a party of seers. He also used the term "nagual" to signify that which is unknowable, neither known nor knowable; implying that, for his party of seers, don Juan was a connection in some way to that unknowable. The term has been used by anthropologists to mean a shaman or sorcerer who is capable of shapeshifting, or changing to an animal form, and also to mean the form to which such a person might shift.

Castaneda's works contain descriptions of paranormal or magical experiences, several psychological techniques, Toltec magic rituals, shamanism and experiences with psychoactive drugs (e.g. peyote). Carlos Castaneda's works have sold more than 8 million copies in 17 languages......"

Hmmm, what else is there to write. I dunno. I'll leave it there for now. Peace.

Non-Attachment

2006-02-15T13:56:00.000-08:00

Had a fantastic practice this morning. My knee is now 98% better. My hip is still opening of course, so some padmasana postures require work, but at least I can attempt them again. I'm doing my best to practice non-attachment to my knee being better, but I'm looking forward to working with the asanas that I've been doing variations of and work on getting the full postures again.

Speaking of non-attachment, I was speaking with someone after class about the small number of people practising this morning. This person stated that a lot of people were perhaps not there because a particular teacher was not there. This person said that some students prefer a certain teacher to work with. I viewed this purely as attachment to a particular teacher. I was surprised that some people may not have showed up because 'their' favourite teacher was not there. Am I reading too much into this? Not that I really care if people want to work with one particular teacher, that's their choice, I just find it interesting that people form an attachment. Some might say it's just a preference. But here we have an action (not showing up to class) due to a preference (specific teacher) being absent. Isn't this attachment? Is this a positive or a negative? Now I'm wanting to understand more about attachment and what it means and how it affects us.

I've almost finished BKS Iyengar's latest book, "Light on Life". It's been taking me a while to read it as some parts of it are really intense. More intense than I thought. Some of it I will not really undserstand until I read it again further down the track, but I've certainly got a lot out of it so far. Next book on the agenda is to read "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel again. It's an awesome book on the Toltec Path to Freedom. I highly recommend this book if you haven't read it.

I just ordered a copy of Annette Noontil's book "The Body is the Barometer of the Soul". A book that has been quite helpful for a few people I know including myself. I've had friends refer to it for me when I have had problems in the past and had amazing results. I thought it was time I got my own copy. It's a recommended book for some kinesiology courses.

Well, Valentine's day has come and gone for another year. 'A' and I make no big deal about it. It's such a commercialised thing and society places so many expectations on it. For us, everyday is that special day for us. That's all I'm going to say on it.

Last Friday night I went to a Spirit Dance in Warrandyte. I met my friends Sue and Kate there. It was a workshop where we danced non-stop to different types of music. It allowed for a lot of creative expresison and freedom. To finish the workshop, we all lay down and had the two facilitators play both the Didgeridoo and Bansuri over us. It was truly amazing. Such a wonderful healing experience.

This Friday night I have the first drum circle for the year. I can't wait to see everybody and brainstorm some ideas for the year. I'm helping organise a weekend away for the group camping. Activities to include drumming, drum healings, journeying, dancing, yoga, activities round the campfire, storytelling, creative arts space, bushwalks etc. This gathering on Friday will be a big brainstorming/ideas session for what we want out of the group for the year. Should be interesting.

Peyote

2006-02-10T14:10:00.000-08:00

It feels like it's been longer than four days since I last blogged. Practice this week has been really intense. And I don't mean just physically. I just feel that spiritually it's been a big growth week. I don't know exactly how to explain it. I've noticed my dreams have become much more lucid. I've always had really good control over my dreams, but this week has been moreso. I don't always have control but I have a lot this week. I've been able to go where I want, see who I want, etc. I also feel a lot more conected to Spirit. i know in the past few weeks I've been feeling disconnected from Spirit, but really you can't be. I'm more connected than ever. It's just that the connection is different and I didn't realise that. My position within the cosmos is shifting through the yoga therefore my perspective is different. I've also been able to recognise certain things in my dreams that represent things in this reality. I had a dream where a woman I know gave me some peyote. My friend Susi pointed out that this can represent the feminine giving access to power. Don Juan says that peyote represents power or an ally to access power (I hope I got that right). The dream was also set at dawn, which is my hour of power (also when I do my practice). So my practice is gaining access to higher power.... Well, it's something along these lines. It's still revealing itself to me in whatever way I can understand.

My knee is still sore but is getting much better. I can also notice my left hip opening up more. Twice this week I was able to stay up in Sirsasana for a full 25 breaths. Man that's hard work. I've also been adding in a pushup in the vinyasas from time to time to help build strength. I feel my whole practice and mood for the day has completely changed due to having 10-15 mins to relax and calm my mind before practice.

I have to stop writing as I've got heaps of work to do. I'll have to finish this offer later :)

NLP

2006-02-06T15:36:00.000-08:00

Well, I've decided I'm going to go ahead with plans to do the Basic Certificate in NLP (neuro-linguistic programming). The course is running in September for 10 days but I'll see what other options are available to me. 10 days all at once will be full on, I'd rather have time to digest what I learn in class. I'll be doing the course where Susi did hers. She did her Master Certificate several years ago. I've borrowed a few books on NLP from her and others and have decided to do the course. A dear friend of mine, Seline, is probably going to do it with me. I can't wait!

Had a very relaxing weekend. We had lots of sunshine which was great. On Friday night I had a bath for the first time in a long time. I used to have heaps of them when I was a kid. I now see what I have been missing. I made some fresh chai, lit some candles and had a 2 hour bath. I'm definitely doing that again. It was so meditative relaxing the eyes with the only light being that of one small candle. I don't really remember being in the bath for that long because I seemed to have shifted states of consciousness. I was there but wasn't. Gotta love those moments.

On Saturday Susi and I spent most of the day at Chai Hill doing our usual thing. It was great to finally spend some one on one time together. It has been a long time since we have. Saturday night A and I spent the night at home. I watched the first episode of Prisonbreak & Lost (season 2) as A taped it for me during the week. Sunday we went to my friends store opening. He has opened a Magick/Witchcraft/Pagan store. We did a ritual for the opening, I did some drumming for some bellydancers, Wendy Rule performed a few songs. It was a really nice afternoon and many people turned up to support Hawthorn and his new venture. It was also great to see so many old friends from the days I was involved in the pagan community.

Practice this morning was unreal. The pace, breathing, bandhas etc all felt great. I had a little difficulty doing vinyasas between poses as I was a little tired, but all was good. I got to the studio at about 5.25am this morning and meditated for about 20mins before doing some stretches. The 20min of sitting and calming the mind had an amazing influence on my practice and on my mood for the entire day so far. I've also been focusing on directing the prana raised through my practice towards more spiritual goals. A dear friend of mine commented that not having anywhere to put all the energy my practice raises, was not a good thing and is probably the reason I feel scattered after practice sometimes. I found that setting intent and directing the raised prana from practice towards some personal things has been beneficial. It will be interesting to continue observing so.

For ages now I've been looking for some tight black men's yoga shorts. I'd checked so many stores but found none. They had knee length tight shiny lycra but no short cotton/lycra type ones. Bernie (teacher from studio) recommended checking out lululemon.com but the store on the complete opposite side of town. Then she found a box of short black lycra type shorts hidden behind the frontdesk. They are exactly what I've been after so I bought a couple of pairs. Apparently they don't make them anymore so I'll buy a couple more when I can. Now everyone can see my horrible white-lilly legs. Eek!

Mmmm A Title....

2006-01-31T14:38:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged for a while because I haven't felt I've had much to write. Just been doing the usual stuff. Practice has been going great. Been keeping up 6 six days a week of practice at the studio, slowly expanding the variety of my diet, working, etc. I've been thoroughly enjoying making more time to sit and read the pile of books I want to get through. My goals for this year are to establish a solid ashtanga practice and read more.

Practice is going really well. My left knee is still sore but not getting worse. I'm careful not to strain it. It seems okay during practice but then hurts a couple of hours after. Then by the evening it's okay again. I'm guessing it's swelling that's causing the discomfort. It's definitely not getting worse which is a good thing, and some days it doesn't even hurt. It's just a process of not doing any asanas that agitate it which seems to be working slowly. I'm kind of grateful that I have this little bump in my practice as it's a great lesson.

My dearest friend Susi is back from Florida. It felt like she was gone a lot longer than 3 weeks. We met up at Chai Hill but it was raining heavily so went to Warrandyte for lunch followed by shopping. In one store I was playing with the Tibetan singing bowls (which I'm heavily drawn to) and after about 5 minutes had shifted something energetically. My whole mood had evelvated 10-fold and felt like I was in another place. They always do this to me. Their vibratioin is so powerful. I find that using my singing bowl before and after practice adds so much to it. At home I sit and use it for a good 10 mins before and after I do a shorter practice before bed. Usually just the sun salutations and 3 closing postures.

It was so good to see her again. We are both hanging to be at Chai Hill this Saturday. Only 4 more sleeps...haha.

On Sunday I was spoiled once again by A. He washed my car, polished it, vacuumed it, cooked me dinner and even did the dishes as he cooked. What did I do to deserve this? He amazes me when he just does things like this. I'm so grateful to him.

If anyone has any nice recipes they'd like to share, please feel free to email me. I'm slowly trying new recipes each week, but nothing startling yet from the veggie books I have. So if you'd like to share please do. In the meantime if I come across something that is worth sharing I will.

Reading back, it annoys me how this blog reads with one topic to the next with no flow. My writing style is weird but I just write what comes to mind. So much comes to mind and then doesn't filter thru, argh. That's it for now.

Happy bending all :)

Ahhh Ashtanga ;)

2006-01-20T14:57:00.000-08:00

It's been an awesome week for practice. My routine consists of getting up at 5am, driving into town and sitting on my mat by 5.35am, centering myself and doing some light stretches before starting at 6am. I practice until 7.30, shower and read my book with a fresh cup of chai before heading to work by 8.30. It is such a nice routine and I love it! Of course I'd love to start work later but I'm working on that. All in time. At the moment I'm just enjoying the mornings the way they are. I look forward to it every day.

Sometimes I have trouble getting to sleep I'm that excited to get up again. Or I wake up during the night thinking it's 5am. But I do have days where I'd love to sleep in and not practice, but I find going to bed earlier that night makes the next morning easier. It's not always easy getting to bed early, and occasionally I feel like I'll miss out on something if I do. Sometimes I get a little depressed thinking about my old life of staying up late and doing a lot more on my weeknights and seeing all my friends etc. Especially now that it's summer and it get's darker later. How nice it was to be out late, having a few drinks with your friends and not caring how little sleep you got. But the lifestyle I have now is just so much better in many different ways. I see my friends mainly on weekends now. None of them are really into yoga, especially not ashtanga. A couple of them did Iyengar for a while but not anymore. I eat much better, sleep better, feel a lot more centered, calm, etc. It would be great to have some ashtangi friends but it's hard to socialise when you finish your practice and everyone is still doing there's or you have to run off to work. Maybe we need some sort of social thing at the studio. What do you think Irene?? I remember reading somewhere that some studios have social things. does any one have something at their studio that enables people to socialise a bit more? Your ideas are welcomed.

Anyways, my practices have been really good this week. Initially, when my left knee started hurting I was annoyed at having to avoid any asanas that would worsen it. Why is it that one day you can do a posture but the next you can't. Is it to do with certain muscles growing or something? Hmm. As you know I've replaced some of the seated postures with variations and some totally new stretches that my teacher gave me to open my hips more. And now I can feel my hips opening more and it feels so much better. I've really been listening to my body more, careful not to push myself and really enjoy the practice. David Williams talked about thoroughly enjoying your practice and advised to feel as much as you can each time. I've particularly been focusing on moola bandha and relaxing my face and neck muscles. It's amazing how much they affect your practice. Relaxing my face during practice automatically relaxes me and enables me to move deeper in each asana. We can hold a lot of tension in our face and this is wasted energy. Yoga is also about creating and harnessing and conserving prana, not losing it. Uneccessary tension also busies the mind.

It feels good to not care so much about where I can get up to in the practice. To not worry about getting into and not getting into certain asanas, but to thoroughly enjoy the practice within the limits of my body at that particular time. So much of my energy is saved by not pushing myself and not trying to progress quickly through the practice. My mind feels clearer and lighter as does my body. I feel more replenished and alive and ready to address the day with a calm mind. Now the goal is to make each practice and day like this.

I'm just having one of those moments when you look back and realise just how positive ashtanga has been, and is, in your life. I had a 2 hour led this morning and that was awesome. I was just really aware at how I wasn't pushing myself and wasn't worried about not being able to do some of the asanas. I just didn't care. When we got to an asana I didn't want to do, in case it aggravated my knee, I just did something else. I was even presently suprised how far I got in some other asanas. The whole practice was enjoyable and felt that the ego was not interferring and causing tension etc. Hey, it wasn't a perfect practice by any means, but it felt great both physically and internally and I realised a few things about myself and my practice. How much I've learnt and how much I've yet to learn. Ahhh Ashtanga ;)

Usual Day

2006-01-16T09:58:00.000-08:00

I don't have heaps to say today :) I had a nice relaxing weekend. Went to Chai Hill on Saturday, read my book, drank chai, played my Native American flute, saw friends I hadn't seen since before Xmas. Chai Hill on Saturdays is such a highlight of my week. Wonderful people, great energy and scenery. It's like a little hippy gathering in the bush. Drumming, healings, chai, lots of smiles, music, etc. I feel so comfortable in this environment. This time a lot of people were back from holidays and I saw several friends I hadn't seen in a while. It was so nice to relax in the sun with them and catchup.

Saturday night A and I watched The Shining. He's a Kubrick fan and has been wanting me to see this movie. I saw about half of it a few years ago but fell asleep. I actually didn't mind this movie. Typical Stephen King though. Yesterday we spent the day relaxing at home, reading and enjoying the great weather we've been having lately.

Practice was okay this morning but I lacked a lot of energy. I didn't eat that well over the weekend and it shows now. I really need help with my diet, I don't eat bad food, just not enough or a wide variety. I'm setting myself some goals this week regarding diet. Will try some new recipes and take more interest in expanding my diet.

Nothing really worth mentioning specifically in my practice. Took it really easy today, focused on opening my hips more, did some extra poses replacing any padmasana-type poses. Just lacked energy.

David William's Workshop

2006-01-13T13:36:00.000-08:00

Attended David William's workshop last night and I just have to say wow! It's the first workshop I've attended and I was blown away. I got so much out of it and it came just the right time for me. The workshop answered so many questions and queries I had about the practice and about being a yogi in general. And what an amazing storyteller!! I could sit and listen to him talk for hours. The 3hrs went so quickly and I left the studio on such a high. I have a new found perspective on the practice and feel much more comfortable about things. The workshop confirmed so much for me and I cannot thank him enough for sharing all that he did. He gave so much information in those 3hrs it was unreal. I'm still trying to digest it all and remember most of what he said so I can share some of it with you. Some of the things he shared were:

Guruji recommends 3 A & 3 B salutations and 3 closing postures (yoga mudra, padmasana, utpluthee) if you are limited with time or cannot do a full practice. This will ensure you don't lose what you've worked for, etc.
If it hurts, you're doing it wrong.
Your practice should be enjoyable and comfortable.
Emphasised the importance of Moola Bandha and deep breathing. Told story about why he never went to Iyengar and talked about why Iyenger has the belly he has (i.e. no moola bandha)
Try to maintain the yogi perspective all day everyday. Extend the high from your practice throughout the day.
You don't have to get your legs behind your head or get into lotus to get benefits of yoga and reach samadhi, etc.
Yoga - to get the body to it's peak condition to remove pain and make the body more comfortable i.e remove dis-ease. Allows comfortbale meditation, to live more in the state between thoughts - samadhi
Samadhi is right here in front of us and in us.
He was taught yoga twice a day by Guruji and learnt the whole syllabus in very short time.

There was a mountain of information given but it's really hard to remember it all and write it down at the moment. I'm still digesting it all and reflecting on it, so I'll write more as it comes.

Relaxation

2006-01-10T13:29:00.000-08:00

Was reading during my lunch break and came across something that I'll pay more attention to during tomorrow's practice. Relaxing more into each asana and not clenching. Relaxing the eyes, tongue, throat, neck and head more. According to Iyengar, this relaxes the mind as well as the body. No tension in these areas means there is no tension in the brain. If you are tense during asana and pranayama, you are doing with an egoistic brain instead of your body. It's a waste of energy, when in yoga we are trying to generate and stabilise our energy. Something to keep in mind :)

Dynamic Extension

2006-01-10T11:12:00.000-08:00

Left the shala this morning smiling and feeling on top of the world. I just love days like this - great practice, time to read and drink chai after practice, sun shining, smell of flowers in the air, etc. I just wanted to skip down the road. Is that too gay? LOL You get my drift though...LOL

Practice was really good this morning. It still lacked the concentration I know it should have, but it flowed well and I didn't push myself too hard, enabling me to really enjoy the depth of each asana. My left knee is still a little sore on the outside so I'm totally avoiding any padmasna type postures and doing very simple variations until the hip opens up a lot more. I was watching video footage of Sharath doing a jump-thru and was able to see what I needed to do make it thru. I can now do a jump-thru with my legs crossed, but not straight. I'll keep working on that one.

I was also able to get my back heel down in Parivritta Parsvakonasana for the first time. Felt great being able to do this.

Read some great stuff this morning in BKS Iyengar's "Light on Life". Some of things that he said briefly were:

"Overstretching occurs when one loses contact with one's centre, with the divine core."
"The ego wants to always stretch further regardless of its ability, rather than extend from the core."
"Each movement must be an art. It is an art in which the Self is the only spectator."
"Keep your attention internal, not external, not worrying about what other's see, but what the Self sees. "
"Overstretching is exhibitionism, understretching is escapism."
"Overstretching and understretching are wrong. Always strectch from the Source, the core, and the foundation of each asana."
"Always extend and expand in each asana. Extension and expansion bring space, and space brings freedom."
"Freedom is precision, and precision is divine. From freedom of the body comes freedom of the mind. "

I asked the universe last night that if I am meant to attend David Williams workshop, then to provide a means. Then "whoosh*, some extra funds arrived. So now I'm attending David's workshop Thursday night. Can't wait. Apparently he rarely attends the same place twice, but he's coming back. I wish I could afford the whole week, but to attend just his first lecture/talk is an honour. He recommends attending it even if you can't attend the whole week.

Had a dream last night I was visiting NY to attend Guruji's workshops and a group of us ashtangi bloggers put our mats next to each other. Some of us then hung out after practice. The bloody alarm woke me up and interrupted the dream. But Kathy's dog, Gus, was following Guruji around while he taught. Every time Guruji counted, Gus barked. "one....*bark*....two.....*bark*.....". Was quite amusing.

Short Entry

2006-01-09T09:33:00.000-08:00

Skipped practice this morning because I had an upset stomach most of the weekend. Thought it best to rest for a day.

Am loving Iyengar's new book. It's really helping me gain a deeper insight into yoga. Can't put it down. Also received in the mail this morning, "The Hidden Secret of Ayurveda" by Robert Svoboda. Looking forward to reading that after, "Light on Life".

Not much else to say. Practice has been good lately, finally using my cotton mat, and hoping to make it David William's workshop on Thursday night, funds permitting.

Peace out for now :)

Light on Life

2006-01-05T16:31:00.000-08:00

Well after a stressful first half of the day, things have settled. My brother was highly stressed about one of our client sites and wanted it redesigned. So I redesigned it and he was over the moon and said I took a load off his chest as the client was on his back. Well, now it's done and everyone is happy, I'm leaving the office. I'm going to go buy myself a copy of Iyengar's latest book, have a nice dinner and relax before a another practice in the morning...yay! So many things are now coming into the light about this day and about what certain things mean and what I can learn from it all.

Career Dilemma

2006-01-05T14:08:00.000-08:00

My day started out great with a good practice and time to have a herbal tea and read my book before work, but once at work, it started turning the other way.

I work for my dad and brother's web design company designing web pages and updating them. These days I seem to be spending most of my time updating sites, but every now and then I get to design one. Anyways, I had a big fight with my brother about where I'm going with the business, etc. He wants me to be much more involved and to take more of an interest. Yeah, according to him. My dad and him own the business and therefore spend almost every hour of their day involved with it. Totally understandable, they own it. For them it's a hobby and their life. For me, it's a job for the time being. It pays well, is flexibile and secure. I am pretty sure I don't to do this for the rest of my life. I mean I really enjoy it but at the same time requires a lot of time outside of work hours developing and building on my skills. They want me to spend more of own time (the very little that I have) on developing them more and keeping up to date with the industry. It's IT. It progresses so quickly and once you spend time learning something, it's outdated within six months. I really hate that. If I enjoyed it as much as a hobby it would be no problem, but it's not. I work 8.30 - 5.30pm every day, get home at 6pm, have dinner and get to bed by 8.30 to read before falling asleep to get up at 5am for my practice. See the little time I have? I'm okay with this as it's entirely my choice, but to spend more time taking more interest in the business and so forth is not something I'm looking forward to. I know everyone who has a career has to constantly keep on top of their industry, but I'm just not sure this is my industry. Heck, I don't know what the hell I want to do. I know I'd like to do something to help people, but in what way. Health wise would be good. Maybe some form of alternative medicine, nutrition, yoga.

For the time being I'll reallocate my time at work to learning a bit more at work, but there is always so much work to do during my work hours aside from learning more than I do daily anyway. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I should start looking a little longer term about what I want to do with myself regarding a career or job. I just don't know what to do. I'd love to stay here but god it can be demanding and require so much extra time keeping yourself up to date, etc. And I have no formal qualifications. I'm all self taught and left university as I hated my course. Yeah - computer programming. So not me. But here I am. But without this job I would be where I am today. It's not as if I don't like my job, just I have little time to keep myself updated. I always have so much work to do. I'll have to reallocate my time better and see what I can do.

It's just been a bad day so far. My brother is so career orientated, so focused on financial stability and wealth (well the whole family is really. They all (3 siblings) studied commerce at uni). I'm different. Money is not a main priority for me to the point that it is for them. I'm obviously in a big universal lesson of balance and direction at the moment. Well, I wasn't until my brother shoved it in my face, or is that the universe? Either way, it'll probably kick start something for me - whatever that is. The only thing on my mind lately is to establish a solid practice and to save for mysore. I'm enjoying each day doing my practice, coming to work, reading lots, etc.

The concern of my dad and brother is that if I don't put in as much time as they want me to, then I'll fall behind in the industry and possibly have no place in it. and with no qualifications - what would I do? Thing is - I'm their key man. I do a lot of work and have no spare time at work (well very little) to spend on reading and learning more and more. I do all our clients (200 +) website updates and adding content to every new site. My dad does all the programming so he has no spare time and my borther sells and does accounts. Without me, they'd be snowed under. I can totally see where they are coming from about what they want and it is reasonable to a degree because it is a fast paced industry. But why am I so hesistant. I feel like I'm going around in circles. *deep breath*

Well I think I'll do as I do normally but take an hour at work each day researching/reading about web design, etc. Collect new ideas and apply them to areas I see fit and see what happens. I guess it's all trial and error. I know everything will work itself out. Or will it. Argh! Relax Craig. Just let it flow, let it be. Relax. I'm just a little stressed. So I'm going to go and sit by the river near work and look at the sky and breathe. I'll read all this later and wonder wehat the hell I was thinking. Read how stressed and confused I sound. We all have bad days. I haven't had one like thins in a very very long time.

Butts, 8 Limbs, Reflections

2006-01-04T17:23:00.000-08:00

Almost everyday as I drive from the shala to work, I see at least one person throw rubbish from their car. Most of the time it's a cigarette butt. Today I saw a woman throw a cigarette butt from her car when we were stopped at the traffic lights. I tooted my horn to get her attention but the light went green and she thought I was tooting her to move forward. It gets me so angry sometimes. My yoga teacher says that she feels compassion for people like this. She said that you move beyond feeling angry for people who seem to have no idea or just turn a blind eye, to feeling compassion for people like this. I feel little compassion for people like this at the moment. I just see it too often for my liking. They know what they're doing.

I have noticed how much I have changed since starting Ashtanga. I am more observant of my emotions and how I respond to stimuli, rather than react. But the feeling of compassion has not arrived for people that litter without thinking of the consequence or who chose to ignore it.

I get excited about what I'll learn as each day goes by from my practice. What I'll learn from reading more about the philosophy of yoga. I'm been reading a fair bit about the other limbs of ashtanga and am finding it all very intertesting. Most of it feels familiar, like I'm remembering. I can see how everything pieces together. How one limb affects the next and so forth. Can anybody recommend a good book on the 8 limbs? I'm really wanting to read more about them.

Practice went well again today. I had to do adjustments to Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana as my left knee has started to hurt, but padmasana was fine at the end of my practice. Strange. I'll just have to do some adjustments until it's better. I don't want it to turn into something nasty. Oh, and for the first time I got into Sirsasana without a little jump to get me up.

I've been thinking about my blog lately and how it reads, etc. I read other Ashtangi blogs daily and find them so interesting and amusing. I've never met the authors, yet know so much about them from their blogs. It's really nice. I wonder sometimes who is actually reading my blog. Sometimes I feel like I'm writing to a big empty space. It's a weird feeling. That sounds so lonely...lol, but it's not. I'm just curious. I wonder if you can track where people view your blog from. Is there some sort of tracker/stats thing? Hmmm, interesting question.

One thing that really bugs me is having so much to say about certain things, but cannot find the words to express. I wish I could write about how I feel before, during and after practice but just can't get it onto the screen. You know when you have an absolutely amazing practice and it's blown your mind and you feel that extra bit more on top of the world, well, how the hell do you explain that, or is that it? Does it need to be explained or shared? I just wish I could share with some of you the feelings I get from practice, but I know you all get them too. I just get blown away sometimes at just how powerful this practice is. It's addictive.

But I think (sometimes way too much, especially today) that this blog is meant to be how it's meant to be. I just write and share and hope that it reflects at least a little of who I am. I know my writing style needs work and it may not always sound interesting, and there is little structure, but blahhhh. Accept what is for what is I guess. I'm just having one of those days where my mind won't stop. Since Sirsasana this morning I've had so much going through my head. I need to go home, do some Suryas and then relax with a good book.