Ashtanga Oz

Assisted Dropbacks

2006-06-29T11:17:00.000-07:00

I was introduced to dropbacks this morning and "Oh my God! How amazing are they!!!!". Up to today I was doing 3 or 4 rounds of 5-8 breaths each of standard Urdhva Dhanurasana. My teacher asked when was I going to try dropbacks, so I said how bout now, so we did. When going back for the first time I got all of these memories from when I was learning backflips at gymnastics when I was younger, it was unreal! I felt like my heart was opening to the universe and all of this loving energy was pulsating through every cell in my body, making me feel so alive and relaxed and uplifted. It makes sense that backbends are so intense because of the spinal cord and nerve roots. I kind of get a similar feeling in the Marichasanas but with back bending I get the extra rush of being inverted too. The thrill of dropping back and coming back up is so addictive.

The rest of my practice went well despite struggling to get out of bed and feeling tired when I hit the mat. I've really been struggling to get up in the mornings of late. My energy levels have been lower than normal first thing in the morning. Funny though because I had a lot more energy for practice than I thought.

Can't think of what else to write as I'm still riding this euphoric wave of dropback bliss. Happy bending people!

Night Practice

2006-06-23T13:55:00.000-07:00

Wednesday night I went to the studio to practice as I wasn't able to make it there Thursday morning. It's the second time I've ever practiced at night and what a difference it is. I much prefer mornings though because the energy is fresher and I'm able to concentrate better and feel more relaxed, but there was some benefit to practicing at night. One was flexibility. I felt a lot more flexible than in the mornings and was able to go deeper in some asanas which was nice. But I felt the energy of that time of night (6pm) was just too chaotic for me. I found it harder to concentrate and relax and flow with the practice. I had too much energy and it really made a difference. It felt more like calisthenics which for a change I didn't mind, but I missed the meditative side of my practice. Overall, it felt like a really good physical workout which isn't yoga, but it was still nice. I had some great adjustments which was awesome too.

CC

2006-06-21T08:56:00.000-07:00

I can't really pinpoint why, but for the past two days I've really struggled to get out of bed in time to head to the studio for practice. I wake up and feel like I've been asleep for years. It being winter and freezing outside hasn't helped. But that's never bothered me in the past, so why now? My diet hasn't changed, I'm eating well, and getting enough sleep. I guess I'm just requiring more discipline. I'll see how the next couple of days go. The other thing I asked myself was if I don't make it up in time to get to the studio, why aren't I doing practice at home? Why do I feel so compelled to only practice at the studio? I just don't feel like me for some reason. Well, that's it then. Tonight I'm doing a smaller practice at home and then I'm making sure I get up in time for practice tomorrow. I don't need to feel like this and choose not too. If I need more discipline then I can face this challenge head on.

A's in Sydney for a couple of days visiting his father and stepmum as he has the week off work. I'm staying at his place looking after the place and our little ball of fluff, CC. She's about 18 months old and is so small. I love it when she sleeps against my chest under the covers and purrs so loudly it sends me off to sleep. Last night I was reading on the couch and she jumps up and lays across my neck so I couldn't see my book and just stares at me pretending to be innocent...so cute!

Bendy Woman

2006-06-16T16:26:00.000-07:00

First of all, check this clip out if you haven't seen it already.

http://www.devilducky.com/media/39096/

It's insane! I had to rewind over and over again just make sure I was seeing it correctly. What must her bones be like? I've got a sore back just from watching it. I've never seen anything like it. It's bloody unreal!

Had a fantastic long weekend away at Inverloch. Adam and I arrived Friday night around 9pm before anyone else and we had about an hour to kill before someone arrived with the keys. So we bought some wine and had a couple of glasses under the moon on the beach. It was cold but romantic and peaceful. Everyone showed up with a total of about 16 of us or something like that. We had heaps of food, we sang songs, drummed, played Native American flute, had a roaring fire, massages, walks, etc. Some great moments for me included getting a lomi lomi massage by three friends in front of the fireplace, with one person playing didgeridoo and three others toning with their voices while I was massaged. I totally blissed out as you can imagine. Other moments included chanting, toning and playing flute on the beach to stunned looks by the locals, playing "The Transformation Game" which is a board game where you give yourself a really long spiritual reading - uncannily accurate for the four of us who played, and of course several D & M's over the weekend. The next weekend organised will be Melbourne cup weekend in November where over four days we'll be doing a Sweat Lodge, drumming, clay art/sculpture, and whatever else pops up in between now and then.

I had saturday - monday off from practice - bad man! The house was completely full and there was no where to do my usual practice. Outside was hopeless too as it was sooooo cold. So I just did some simple strectches in the small space I could find, nothing exciting. I tell you, three days off felt like weeks. I hate missing practice. But the rest of the week has been really good. The kurmasanas and mari D are coming along nicely.

I was sitting in the sun during my lunch break reading Gregor's book, when I started to realise how my life is centering more and more around yoga. From reading book after book, to scheduling almost everything around my practice, to blogging, reading blogs, and spending more and more time doing spiritual things like medicine drumming, playing Native flute, pranayama exercises, spending time alone relaxing and feeling connected to Spirit. There's something really calming and fulfilling about it all.

This morning I booked and paid for a three day anatomy and physiology yoga workshop at the studio next month. The focus is on core strength, spinal support, injury prevention, hip joint movements and protecting your joints - both theory and practice.

Had a meeting yesterday afternoon at work with my dad and brother (directors of the business) and they gave a me a little cash bonus and all my car services fully paid for from now on. Sweet! I'm in real need of a new wardrobe so I'll be shopping most of the weekend with the little bonus. I haven't bought myself clothes in a long time. Yoga clothes, pants, shoes and a good winter jacket are in order.

I Bound in D Yippee

2006-06-08T15:34:00.000-07:00

I bound in Marichyasana D for the first time this morning. I was so focused on my breathing and with keeping the flow of my practice going that I just went straight into D and bound without thinking twice about it. When I came out of it I was in shock that I just went into it the way I did. It felt unreal! Can't wait to practice tomorrow :)

Practice has been really good this week. Monday I was really tired for some reason which affected the practice, but the rest of the week I had lots of energy and am enjoying my practice on a whole new level. I guess I'm picking up lots of little tid bits from Gregor's book. For example, I didn't realise that in Chaturanga I have only been lowering to be parallel with my arms instead of lowering further. And now I've become much more aware of distributing the weight evenly in my legs and feet in the standing postures which has helped a lot. I also realised that I was not far enough forward (I don't mean bending) but forward on my feet in Prasarita Padottanasana A-D. Lots of little things from his book are helping my practice and I've only read a little bit.

Long weekend this weekend and I'm off to a holiday house with friends for three days by the sea. Drumming on the beach, good food, lots of laughter, star gazing, singing, dancing, snuggling round the fire, and of course yoga. A few friends are bringing their mats and I'll be taking them through some yoga.

Supta Kurmasana

2006-06-02T13:26:00.000-07:00

Firstly, a very big "thank you" to the wonderful Julie for this new look Ashtangi.NET. It looks unreal and I'm sure everyone else will agree. From your blog it sounds like your working way too much. Make sure you take some time out just for you :)

I'm feeling pleased with how my practice is progressing at the moment. Yesterday I was given Supta Kurmasana and it felt awesome. My feet are not yet behind my head but I feel it's not too far away. I've always wondered what it would be like to have my feet behind my head. I'm kinda excited about it. I'm having a bit trouble getting my feet under in Bhujapidasana and have trouble getting back up, but I'm sure I'll get there. I don't have the strength to do Tittibhasana properly and it feels like it's miles away until I have it. It must feel awesome to have the strength to do Bhujapidasana properly with the jumping to Tittibhasana and Bakasana etc. I'm not in a rush but thoughts of wondering how I'll ever get the strength to do so float into and out of my mind.

Speaking of thoughts entering the mind during practice, today I had really annoying thoughts. Today was my 6th practice for the week and by this stage I'm usually pretty tired. This morning was a 2 hr led class. I found that during practice today I was not focused enough and had too many thoughts running through my mind. I noticed myself worrying too much about doing the asanas correctly. It was so tiring. I felt like I was competing with myself and it felt horrible. So, about 3/4 of the way thru the class I just stopped and did a small closing sequence and then had an extra long shavasana. I was exhausted. I certainly wasn't going to push myself, so deciding to finish early was just what I needed. It felt great to not think about anything and to relax in shavasana. I couldn't have been happier. Yay for rest day tomorrow.

For those who have not got Gregor's book, "Ashtanga Yoga Practice & Philospohy" I highly recommend it. I can't put it down. I love all the extra bits on anatomy which I've been keen to learn more about. The second half of the book contains the Yoga Sutra. Well worth every penny.

A's neti pot arrived the other day and he's loving it. It's a hand-made ceramic one from somewhere in Brisbane. It feels good when your partner takes an interest in yoga. He currently does one class a week at the studio and couple of practices at home to a dvd I have. And now after seeing me do Jala Neti and hearing me talk about the amazing effects it has, he's decided to include it into his daily routine. He's also been cooking lots of vegetarian recipes using organic produce. I guess it feels good to be with someone who understands and takes an interest in yoga. Okay, enough with the soppy stuff but it's exciting :)

The weekend ahead will be the usual Chai Hill with friends S and A and then I'm attempting to cook a new indian recipe, my favourite dal makhani saturday night, then spending Sunday doing a 2hr led followed by a day of reading curled up on the couch. Ah, the good life.

Sacred Earth - Vinyasa Dip

2006-05-26T16:58:00.000-07:00

The alarm went off at 4.55am this morning but as I turned it off, I must have fallen back asleep because I woke up again at 5.40am 20mins before G's 2 hr led class. I was pissed off! I wasn't going to make into the city in time for the class so instead I remained in bed. I was toying with the idea of still getting up and doing a practice at home, but I fell back asleep. My warm bed was just too easy to drift away in, plus it was only 5 degrees outside. So once I finish work, I'm going home to practice, and then have a relaxing hot bath and listen to my new cd by Sacred Earth that I bought during my lunchbreak along with an awesome wooden candle holder for Adam. I'll give it to him after work. Apparently he's making a big dinner for us tonight...yay! He's been trying all these new recipes lately and they are sooooo good. I'm so spoiled.

I was watching David Swenson's Primary DVD again last night, and reading John Scott's book and Guruji's book and realised these are a lot of differences between them. Mainly in technique and sequence. Some stand up between asanas, others don't. I especially liked how David does a dip from upward dog to downward dog. I've been trying this in my practice and it's unreal! A great way to build up extra strength. Basically from upward facing dog you go back to chataranga and then back to downward dog instead of upward face straight to downward dog.

Well, I'd write more, but I've finished work and have to close up. Have a great weekend people! :)

In the Moment yet Lost

2006-05-24T11:44:00.000-07:00

Practice is going really well at the moment. There's heaps I want to work on but that's part of practising daily and having patience (a big lesson for scorpio's).

David Swenson's first series dvd arrived yesterday and I spent last night watching it. It's unreal! It makes me feel a whole lot better about my practice and I've got some great tips from it.

'B' suggested I activate my thigh muscles more in Prasarita Padottanasana A - D. I found this most helpful. It's funny how you don't realise you do or don't do certain things in your practice until someone brings your attention to it.

I ordered "Ashtanga Yoga: Practice and Philosophy" by Gregor Maehle which seems like an excellent book. I'm especially interested in the anatomy/physiology side of things thru it. I love learning about the body. It has some tips and hints thoughout it for opening hips, etc. I'll let you know what it's like once I get it.

I've been feeling two major things lately. 1) very relaxed and carefree and in the moment, and then 2) lost and confused and thinking way too much about the future. I've been flipping from one to two and back again ever since I finished the NLP course. Because there was so much infomration crammed into that 2 week period, I feel ike it's slipped away from my mind and I can't apply it to my current situation. Then when I'm talking to people I realise how much I've retained. I can't help but wonder why I'm swinging emotionally. I'm wanting to find something I can do career wise. I want to leave my current job (recognising that it is still a great job), but want to do something more to my liking. Something in the natural therpy area would be great. Then I could perhaps teach yoga part time (not until I'm further along my yogi path) and then do something else part time. I dunno. All I know is that I love yoga, massage, natural therapies, learning about anatomy and movement, and helping other people. I'll put something out to the universe to give me a nice nudge. After every practice in the morning, everything feels great. That's a plus. I'm tired of feeling lost and figure it's time to do something about it. Easier said than done.

Why do I sometimes feel much more emotional since doing Ashtanga? Is this normal?

I'm going to hop back on my mat again and do some salutations and then meditate. Maybe I'll give myself a medicine card reading too.

Back in the Grove Baby! Yoga Community

2006-05-17T14:24:00.000-07:00

Finally I'm back doing my morning practice at the studio. Goddamn it feels good to be back. Over the past month I've done some practices at home but certainly not as often as I'd have liked. So much for doing it each day. Oh well, not worth stressing over. But I'm back into the full swing of it now doing 6 days a week of practice up to Kurmasana. Practice this week has been great. I'm just easing back into it all. I woke up with a few sore muscles, but nothing worth worrying about. I sat for about 15 mins on my mat this morning before I started and just looked out of the window at the stars, smelled the fresh chai cooking in the next room, observed as much as I could around me, the sounds, smells, feeling of my cotton mat on legs, etc and I remembered just how lucky and grateful I am to be alive. To be able to fully experience every breath, to be happy where I am with everything in my life regardless of the not so great things, to be able to do my practice and share and communicate with Spirit every second, to just be alive and experiencing all that is available to me. I had this same experience again in Shavasana, this time with a few tears rolling down my cheek as I lay there in that Shavasana-high.

I've been surfing the net reading about food and diets, especially sattvic and ayurvedic foods. For the first time in my life I'm taking a serious look at my diet. I do eat well, but could certainly benefit from several changes. I don't eat much meat (probably once every few months if that), lots of fruit and veggies, no dairy , no wheat, I have soy milk, etc etc. I've only started buying all my fruit and veggies from a certified organic grocer. The difference is amazing. My partner oftens buys organic but I've never really done that. So now I am. The smells and tastes are much more potent. Sure they cost more, but in my eyes it's worth it. How many other yogis buy organic produce? What kind of effort do you put into your eating plan?

The other new activity (I know I've said this before) is actually trying new recipes. I finally bought myself The Ayurvedic Cookbook and am going to try a couple of recipes each week. So I'll let you know how they go. I can cook but I don't know many recipes. I've always loved cooking but I have no idea why I never really got more interested in it. I guess now, I have a lot of reasons to do so.

I've been thinking about this blog a lot lately. Thinking about what to write about, why I write, what do I want on it, how often do I want to do it, etc. I guess some days I frown upon it because blogs appear kinda self-important. Why would someone want to prove their own self-importance. Sure people can say oh no, I write for myself (bingo!) or to entertain others (what purpose would you do that?), but for me I have no idea. i just like writing it. Perhaps it's a mixture of both. I think I really started it so that I could look back on my yogi journey and see how far I've come. But then I wonder why I would want to see that. So I think in the end it doesn't really matter. I just do what I like doing and that's that. I just sometimes like finding the reasons I do certain things to better understand myself. To see where to remove self-importance perhaps, I dunno. Enough said, I like blogging every now and then and that's that. I wish I had more time to put up some pics or create an image header, but that will have to be down the track. I'd like to blog everyday, but I'll just blog when I have time and when I feel like it. Mind you, I always find the time to read blogs and see what other ashtangi's are up to round the world. There's a lot to learn from eachother and that's really comforting :)

I was reading some comments on Ezeboard about yoga being lonely for some people and it caught my attention. I guess it can be for some. I know some places have a great yoga community and others don't. The studio I attend is a fantastic studio, but I've been thinking about the social side of it. Most people rock up, do their practice and go. I guess I've been pondering the idea of starting some sort of night or gathering where we can get together and have a social thing. But I'm lost for ideas. I'd love to create a little more community for those that are open to it. I'm usually against the idea of community for my own reasons, but not in the sense of getting to know and meet new people. I think it's a great idea. To anyone reading this - what are your experiences with yoga and perhaps the studio you attend? Are there social nights or some sort or satsangs I think they're called. I'm curious as to what other studios offer for their yogis to meet new people, etc. What have you found useful in getting to know other ashtangi's?

Well, no more dreadlocks. I had them for 3 weeks and got rid of them. I just couldn't be bothered with them. There are very high maintenance. I got my partner to shave my head and I have to say, it's bliss. Showering is easy, sleeping on my back is easy, yoga is sooooooo much easier. I'm lovin' it. No more long hair for me again :)

Update

2006-04-21T11:51:00.000-07:00

Well, this is long overdue. This is just a small update of what's going on in my world. I've just come back from 6 days camping in the Aussie bush at Confest. It was an amazing time and I learnt a lot about myself there. I also learnt how to make and maintain dreadlocks (I'm getting mine done finally in a couple of days). I had my first lock put in during this workshop. I was told it is tradition to name your first dread. Well, mine is Rusty. I have no idea why I chose that, but it seemed to be appropriate at the time. I also did a couple of hypnotic language workshops and a rebirthing workshop which was quite insightful.

I got back from Confest on Tuesday and have had all week off to digest everything, do mountains of washing, clean the house, etc etc. i thought I was supposed to relax. Hmpf! Anyways, I start my Basic Practioner NLP course on Monday for two weeks and can't wait!

I haven't been to ythe studio in a couple of weeks and wont for the next two as my course is on the opposite side of town and I can't make it in time, so I'll be continuing my practice at home each day. Then after the course, I can finally get back to the studio each morning. It feels like it's been way too long since I was there last. But at least I'm still maintaining practice at home. So hello to everyone there :)

That's my little update for now, I'll be back in a couple of weeks. Happy bending everyone :)

Medicine

2006-03-08T14:21:00.000-08:00

Back to the studio after a week off of being unwell. I had a stomach bug of some sort and was unable to practice, but now I'm back on track.

Practice today went really well considering I'd had about a week off. I was worried I'd lose some of my flexibility but didn't really notice any huge difference. Actually I seemed to get further in some asanas than I normally do. My breathing was a lot quicker, but still deep, and I managed to finish earlier than I normally would. This gave me more time to work on my backbending and a good 15 minute shavasana.

I'm trying to think what else has been going on....I really struggle sometimes with what to write about. Well, I just finished "The Teahcings of Don Juan" and am waiting on Carlos' second book, "A separate reality" to arrive in the mail. I've also got an NLP book arriving any day now too. Speaking of NLP, I've finally booked in to do the practitioner course which starts on April 24th and goes to May 5th. It starts only a couple of days after ConFest which is perfect timing. Every year a group of friends and I take a week off and rough it up camping in the aussie bush. It's a wonderful place to share our 'medicines' with each other. 'Medicine', for those that don't know, refers not to medication, but to an array of concepts, ideas and gifts from Spirit which includes ourselves.

New Asanas & Castaneda

2006-02-28T10:36:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it's been so long since my last post. Well, it's been a great couple of weeks. Practice is going really well. I've been able to include all the padmasana type asanas I had been doing variations of back into my practice. My knee is not causing any problem now. Today I was given Marichyasana D, Navasana and Bhuja Pindasana. It was exciting getting these asanas. I was also told by my teacher that I don't have to wait to receive new asanas from him. If I feel it's time for a new asana I can speak to him about it. Cool! :)

I've been watching David Swensons Advanced A & B on DVD. It's so awesome. Definitely worth a look at if you can get your hands on it. Chakorasana is one of my favs, not only does it look good but I like the idea of a mythical bird feeding on moonbeams. How cool is that! The interviews on the dvd were also interesting.

Yesterday I booked into the Basic Certificate in NLP course starting in April for 10 days. I'm so excited about it.

'A' and I had our 12 month anniversary yesterday. Boy did that year go quick! I had to work yesterday so we celebrated on the weekend. We both had Shiatsu massages, both did a led class (I did my usual sunday class, and 'A' did the beginner's), spent Saturday at Chai Hill, visited some friends and generally relaxed, cooked dinner, and just spent a lovely weekend together.

Finished reading "Light on Life". It was quite fullon in some parts but I'll definitely be reading it again down the track to pick up more out of it. I've just finished reading "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel. I'm now re-reading "The Teachings of Don Juan" by Carlos Castaneda. One of my all time favourite books.

From Wikipedia......."Carlos Castaneda, previously Castañeda, (December 25, 1925 – April 27, 1998) was an author of a controversial series of books that claimed to describe his training in traditional Native American shamanism (ancient Toltec sorcery).

Castaneda claimed to have met a Yaqui shaman named Don Juan Matus in 1960. Castaneda's experiences with Don Juan allegedly inspired the works for which he is known. He claimed to have inherited from don Juan the position of nagual, or leader of a party of seers. He also used the term "nagual" to signify that which is unknowable, neither known nor knowable; implying that, for his party of seers, don Juan was a connection in some way to that unknowable. The term has been used by anthropologists to mean a shaman or sorcerer who is capable of shapeshifting, or changing to an animal form, and also to mean the form to which such a person might shift.

Castaneda's works contain descriptions of paranormal or magical experiences, several psychological techniques, Toltec magic rituals, shamanism and experiences with psychoactive drugs (e.g. peyote). Carlos Castaneda's works have sold more than 8 million copies in 17 languages......"

Hmmm, what else is there to write. I dunno. I'll leave it there for now. Peace.

Non-Attachment

2006-02-15T13:56:00.000-08:00

Had a fantastic practice this morning. My knee is now 98% better. My hip is still opening of course, so some padmasana postures require work, but at least I can attempt them again. I'm doing my best to practice non-attachment to my knee being better, but I'm looking forward to working with the asanas that I've been doing variations of and work on getting the full postures again.

Speaking of non-attachment, I was speaking with someone after class about the small number of people practising this morning. This person stated that a lot of people were perhaps not there because a particular teacher was not there. This person said that some students prefer a certain teacher to work with. I viewed this purely as attachment to a particular teacher. I was surprised that some people may not have showed up because 'their' favourite teacher was not there. Am I reading too much into this? Not that I really care if people want to work with one particular teacher, that's their choice, I just find it interesting that people form an attachment. Some might say it's just a preference. But here we have an action (not showing up to class) due to a preference (specific teacher) being absent. Isn't this attachment? Is this a positive or a negative? Now I'm wanting to understand more about attachment and what it means and how it affects us.

I've almost finished BKS Iyengar's latest book, "Light on Life". It's been taking me a while to read it as some parts of it are really intense. More intense than I thought. Some of it I will not really undserstand until I read it again further down the track, but I've certainly got a lot out of it so far. Next book on the agenda is to read "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel again. It's an awesome book on the Toltec Path to Freedom. I highly recommend this book if you haven't read it.

I just ordered a copy of Annette Noontil's book "The Body is the Barometer of the Soul". A book that has been quite helpful for a few people I know including myself. I've had friends refer to it for me when I have had problems in the past and had amazing results. I thought it was time I got my own copy. It's a recommended book for some kinesiology courses.

Well, Valentine's day has come and gone for another year. 'A' and I make no big deal about it. It's such a commercialised thing and society places so many expectations on it. For us, everyday is that special day for us. That's all I'm going to say on it.

Last Friday night I went to a Spirit Dance in Warrandyte. I met my friends Sue and Kate there. It was a workshop where we danced non-stop to different types of music. It allowed for a lot of creative expresison and freedom. To finish the workshop, we all lay down and had the two facilitators play both the Didgeridoo and Bansuri over us. It was truly amazing. Such a wonderful healing experience.

This Friday night I have the first drum circle for the year. I can't wait to see everybody and brainstorm some ideas for the year. I'm helping organise a weekend away for the group camping. Activities to include drumming, drum healings, journeying, dancing, yoga, activities round the campfire, storytelling, creative arts space, bushwalks etc. This gathering on Friday will be a big brainstorming/ideas session for what we want out of the group for the year. Should be interesting.

Peyote

2006-02-10T14:10:00.000-08:00

It feels like it's been longer than four days since I last blogged. Practice this week has been really intense. And I don't mean just physically. I just feel that spiritually it's been a big growth week. I don't know exactly how to explain it. I've noticed my dreams have become much more lucid. I've always had really good control over my dreams, but this week has been moreso. I don't always have control but I have a lot this week. I've been able to go where I want, see who I want, etc. I also feel a lot more conected to Spirit. i know in the past few weeks I've been feeling disconnected from Spirit, but really you can't be. I'm more connected than ever. It's just that the connection is different and I didn't realise that. My position within the cosmos is shifting through the yoga therefore my perspective is different. I've also been able to recognise certain things in my dreams that represent things in this reality. I had a dream where a woman I know gave me some peyote. My friend Susi pointed out that this can represent the feminine giving access to power. Don Juan says that peyote represents power or an ally to access power (I hope I got that right). The dream was also set at dawn, which is my hour of power (also when I do my practice). So my practice is gaining access to higher power.... Well, it's something along these lines. It's still revealing itself to me in whatever way I can understand.

My knee is still sore but is getting much better. I can also notice my left hip opening up more. Twice this week I was able to stay up in Sirsasana for a full 25 breaths. Man that's hard work. I've also been adding in a pushup in the vinyasas from time to time to help build strength. I feel my whole practice and mood for the day has completely changed due to having 10-15 mins to relax and calm my mind before practice.

I have to stop writing as I've got heaps of work to do. I'll have to finish this offer later :)

NLP

2006-02-06T15:36:00.000-08:00

Well, I've decided I'm going to go ahead with plans to do the Basic Certificate in NLP (neuro-linguistic programming). The course is running in September for 10 days but I'll see what other options are available to me. 10 days all at once will be full on, I'd rather have time to digest what I learn in class. I'll be doing the course where Susi did hers. She did her Master Certificate several years ago. I've borrowed a few books on NLP from her and others and have decided to do the course. A dear friend of mine, Seline, is probably going to do it with me. I can't wait!

Had a very relaxing weekend. We had lots of sunshine which was great. On Friday night I had a bath for the first time in a long time. I used to have heaps of them when I was a kid. I now see what I have been missing. I made some fresh chai, lit some candles and had a 2 hour bath. I'm definitely doing that again. It was so meditative relaxing the eyes with the only light being that of one small candle. I don't really remember being in the bath for that long because I seemed to have shifted states of consciousness. I was there but wasn't. Gotta love those moments.

On Saturday Susi and I spent most of the day at Chai Hill doing our usual thing. It was great to finally spend some one on one time together. It has been a long time since we have. Saturday night A and I spent the night at home. I watched the first episode of Prisonbreak & Lost (season 2) as A taped it for me during the week. Sunday we went to my friends store opening. He has opened a Magick/Witchcraft/Pagan store. We did a ritual for the opening, I did some drumming for some bellydancers, Wendy Rule performed a few songs. It was a really nice afternoon and many people turned up to support Hawthorn and his new venture. It was also great to see so many old friends from the days I was involved in the pagan community.

Practice this morning was unreal. The pace, breathing, bandhas etc all felt great. I had a little difficulty doing vinyasas between poses as I was a little tired, but all was good. I got to the studio at about 5.25am this morning and meditated for about 20mins before doing some stretches. The 20min of sitting and calming the mind had an amazing influence on my practice and on my mood for the entire day so far. I've also been focusing on directing the prana raised through my practice towards more spiritual goals. A dear friend of mine commented that not having anywhere to put all the energy my practice raises, was not a good thing and is probably the reason I feel scattered after practice sometimes. I found that setting intent and directing the raised prana from practice towards some personal things has been beneficial. It will be interesting to continue observing so.

For ages now I've been looking for some tight black men's yoga shorts. I'd checked so many stores but found none. They had knee length tight shiny lycra but no short cotton/lycra type ones. Bernie (teacher from studio) recommended checking out lululemon.com but the store on the complete opposite side of town. Then she found a box of short black lycra type shorts hidden behind the frontdesk. They are exactly what I've been after so I bought a couple of pairs. Apparently they don't make them anymore so I'll buy a couple more when I can. Now everyone can see my horrible white-lilly legs. Eek!

Mmmm A Title....

2006-01-31T14:38:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged for a while because I haven't felt I've had much to write. Just been doing the usual stuff. Practice has been going great. Been keeping up 6 six days a week of practice at the studio, slowly expanding the variety of my diet, working, etc. I've been thoroughly enjoying making more time to sit and read the pile of books I want to get through. My goals for this year are to establish a solid ashtanga practice and read more.

Practice is going really well. My left knee is still sore but not getting worse. I'm careful not to strain it. It seems okay during practice but then hurts a couple of hours after. Then by the evening it's okay again. I'm guessing it's swelling that's causing the discomfort. It's definitely not getting worse which is a good thing, and some days it doesn't even hurt. It's just a process of not doing any asanas that agitate it which seems to be working slowly. I'm kind of grateful that I have this little bump in my practice as it's a great lesson.

My dearest friend Susi is back from Florida. It felt like she was gone a lot longer than 3 weeks. We met up at Chai Hill but it was raining heavily so went to Warrandyte for lunch followed by shopping. In one store I was playing with the Tibetan singing bowls (which I'm heavily drawn to) and after about 5 minutes had shifted something energetically. My whole mood had evelvated 10-fold and felt like I was in another place. They always do this to me. Their vibratioin is so powerful. I find that using my singing bowl before and after practice adds so much to it. At home I sit and use it for a good 10 mins before and after I do a shorter practice before bed. Usually just the sun salutations and 3 closing postures.

It was so good to see her again. We are both hanging to be at Chai Hill this Saturday. Only 4 more sleeps...haha.

On Sunday I was spoiled once again by A. He washed my car, polished it, vacuumed it, cooked me dinner and even did the dishes as he cooked. What did I do to deserve this? He amazes me when he just does things like this. I'm so grateful to him.

If anyone has any nice recipes they'd like to share, please feel free to email me. I'm slowly trying new recipes each week, but nothing startling yet from the veggie books I have. So if you'd like to share please do. In the meantime if I come across something that is worth sharing I will.

Reading back, it annoys me how this blog reads with one topic to the next with no flow. My writing style is weird but I just write what comes to mind. So much comes to mind and then doesn't filter thru, argh. That's it for now.

Happy bending all :)

Ahhh Ashtanga ;)

2006-01-20T14:57:00.000-08:00

It's been an awesome week for practice. My routine consists of getting up at 5am, driving into town and sitting on my mat by 5.35am, centering myself and doing some light stretches before starting at 6am. I practice until 7.30, shower and read my book with a fresh cup of chai before heading to work by 8.30. It is such a nice routine and I love it! Of course I'd love to start work later but I'm working on that. All in time. At the moment I'm just enjoying the mornings the way they are. I look forward to it every day.

Sometimes I have trouble getting to sleep I'm that excited to get up again. Or I wake up during the night thinking it's 5am. But I do have days where I'd love to sleep in and not practice, but I find going to bed earlier that night makes the next morning easier. It's not always easy getting to bed early, and occasionally I feel like I'll miss out on something if I do. Sometimes I get a little depressed thinking about my old life of staying up late and doing a lot more on my weeknights and seeing all my friends etc. Especially now that it's summer and it get's darker later. How nice it was to be out late, having a few drinks with your friends and not caring how little sleep you got. But the lifestyle I have now is just so much better in many different ways. I see my friends mainly on weekends now. None of them are really into yoga, especially not ashtanga. A couple of them did Iyengar for a while but not anymore. I eat much better, sleep better, feel a lot more centered, calm, etc. It would be great to have some ashtangi friends but it's hard to socialise when you finish your practice and everyone is still doing there's or you have to run off to work. Maybe we need some sort of social thing at the studio. What do you think Irene?? I remember reading somewhere that some studios have social things. does any one have something at their studio that enables people to socialise a bit more? Your ideas are welcomed.

Anyways, my practices have been really good this week. Initially, when my left knee started hurting I was annoyed at having to avoid any asanas that would worsen it. Why is it that one day you can do a posture but the next you can't. Is it to do with certain muscles growing or something? Hmm. As you know I've replaced some of the seated postures with variations and some totally new stretches that my teacher gave me to open my hips more. And now I can feel my hips opening more and it feels so much better. I've really been listening to my body more, careful not to push myself and really enjoy the practice. David Williams talked about thoroughly enjoying your practice and advised to feel as much as you can each time. I've particularly been focusing on moola bandha and relaxing my face and neck muscles. It's amazing how much they affect your practice. Relaxing my face during practice automatically relaxes me and enables me to move deeper in each asana. We can hold a lot of tension in our face and this is wasted energy. Yoga is also about creating and harnessing and conserving prana, not losing it. Uneccessary tension also busies the mind.

It feels good to not care so much about where I can get up to in the practice. To not worry about getting into and not getting into certain asanas, but to thoroughly enjoy the practice within the limits of my body at that particular time. So much of my energy is saved by not pushing myself and not trying to progress quickly through the practice. My mind feels clearer and lighter as does my body. I feel more replenished and alive and ready to address the day with a calm mind. Now the goal is to make each practice and day like this.

I'm just having one of those moments when you look back and realise just how positive ashtanga has been, and is, in your life. I had a 2 hour led this morning and that was awesome. I was just really aware at how I wasn't pushing myself and wasn't worried about not being able to do some of the asanas. I just didn't care. When we got to an asana I didn't want to do, in case it aggravated my knee, I just did something else. I was even presently suprised how far I got in some other asanas. The whole practice was enjoyable and felt that the ego was not interferring and causing tension etc. Hey, it wasn't a perfect practice by any means, but it felt great both physically and internally and I realised a few things about myself and my practice. How much I've learnt and how much I've yet to learn. Ahhh Ashtanga ;)

Usual Day

2006-01-16T09:58:00.000-08:00

I don't have heaps to say today :) I had a nice relaxing weekend. Went to Chai Hill on Saturday, read my book, drank chai, played my Native American flute, saw friends I hadn't seen since before Xmas. Chai Hill on Saturdays is such a highlight of my week. Wonderful people, great energy and scenery. It's like a little hippy gathering in the bush. Drumming, healings, chai, lots of smiles, music, etc. I feel so comfortable in this environment. This time a lot of people were back from holidays and I saw several friends I hadn't seen in a while. It was so nice to relax in the sun with them and catchup.

Saturday night A and I watched The Shining. He's a Kubrick fan and has been wanting me to see this movie. I saw about half of it a few years ago but fell asleep. I actually didn't mind this movie. Typical Stephen King though. Yesterday we spent the day relaxing at home, reading and enjoying the great weather we've been having lately.

Practice was okay this morning but I lacked a lot of energy. I didn't eat that well over the weekend and it shows now. I really need help with my diet, I don't eat bad food, just not enough or a wide variety. I'm setting myself some goals this week regarding diet. Will try some new recipes and take more interest in expanding my diet.

Nothing really worth mentioning specifically in my practice. Took it really easy today, focused on opening my hips more, did some extra poses replacing any padmasana-type poses. Just lacked energy.

David William's Workshop

2006-01-13T13:36:00.000-08:00

Attended David William's workshop last night and I just have to say wow! It's the first workshop I've attended and I was blown away. I got so much out of it and it came just the right time for me. The workshop answered so many questions and queries I had about the practice and about being a yogi in general. And what an amazing storyteller!! I could sit and listen to him talk for hours. The 3hrs went so quickly and I left the studio on such a high. I have a new found perspective on the practice and feel much more comfortable about things. The workshop confirmed so much for me and I cannot thank him enough for sharing all that he did. He gave so much information in those 3hrs it was unreal. I'm still trying to digest it all and remember most of what he said so I can share some of it with you. Some of the things he shared were:

Guruji recommends 3 A & 3 B salutations and 3 closing postures (yoga mudra, padmasana, utpluthee) if you are limited with time or cannot do a full practice. This will ensure you don't lose what you've worked for, etc.
If it hurts, you're doing it wrong.
Your practice should be enjoyable and comfortable.
Emphasised the importance of Moola Bandha and deep breathing. Told story about why he never went to Iyengar and talked about why Iyenger has the belly he has (i.e. no moola bandha)
Try to maintain the yogi perspective all day everyday. Extend the high from your practice throughout the day.
You don't have to get your legs behind your head or get into lotus to get benefits of yoga and reach samadhi, etc.
Yoga - to get the body to it's peak condition to remove pain and make the body more comfortable i.e remove dis-ease. Allows comfortbale meditation, to live more in the state between thoughts - samadhi
Samadhi is right here in front of us and in us.
He was taught yoga twice a day by Guruji and learnt the whole syllabus in very short time.

There was a mountain of information given but it's really hard to remember it all and write it down at the moment. I'm still digesting it all and reflecting on it, so I'll write more as it comes.

Relaxation

2006-01-10T13:29:00.000-08:00

Was reading during my lunch break and came across something that I'll pay more attention to during tomorrow's practice. Relaxing more into each asana and not clenching. Relaxing the eyes, tongue, throat, neck and head more. According to Iyengar, this relaxes the mind as well as the body. No tension in these areas means there is no tension in the brain. If you are tense during asana and pranayama, you are doing with an egoistic brain instead of your body. It's a waste of energy, when in yoga we are trying to generate and stabilise our energy. Something to keep in mind :)

Dynamic Extension

2006-01-10T11:12:00.000-08:00

Left the shala this morning smiling and feeling on top of the world. I just love days like this - great practice, time to read and drink chai after practice, sun shining, smell of flowers in the air, etc. I just wanted to skip down the road. Is that too gay? LOL You get my drift though...LOL

Practice was really good this morning. It still lacked the concentration I know it should have, but it flowed well and I didn't push myself too hard, enabling me to really enjoy the depth of each asana. My left knee is still a little sore on the outside so I'm totally avoiding any padmasna type postures and doing very simple variations until the hip opens up a lot more. I was watching video footage of Sharath doing a jump-thru and was able to see what I needed to do make it thru. I can now do a jump-thru with my legs crossed, but not straight. I'll keep working on that one.

I was also able to get my back heel down in Parivritta Parsvakonasana for the first time. Felt great being able to do this.

Read some great stuff this morning in BKS Iyengar's "Light on Life". Some of things that he said briefly were:

"Overstretching occurs when one loses contact with one's centre, with the divine core."
"The ego wants to always stretch further regardless of its ability, rather than extend from the core."
"Each movement must be an art. It is an art in which the Self is the only spectator."
"Keep your attention internal, not external, not worrying about what other's see, but what the Self sees. "
"Overstretching is exhibitionism, understretching is escapism."
"Overstretching and understretching are wrong. Always strectch from the Source, the core, and the foundation of each asana."
"Always extend and expand in each asana. Extension and expansion bring space, and space brings freedom."
"Freedom is precision, and precision is divine. From freedom of the body comes freedom of the mind. "

I asked the universe last night that if I am meant to attend David Williams workshop, then to provide a means. Then "whoosh*, some extra funds arrived. So now I'm attending David's workshop Thursday night. Can't wait. Apparently he rarely attends the same place twice, but he's coming back. I wish I could afford the whole week, but to attend just his first lecture/talk is an honour. He recommends attending it even if you can't attend the whole week.

Had a dream last night I was visiting NY to attend Guruji's workshops and a group of us ashtangi bloggers put our mats next to each other. Some of us then hung out after practice. The bloody alarm woke me up and interrupted the dream. But Kathy's dog, Gus, was following Guruji around while he taught. Every time Guruji counted, Gus barked. "one....*bark*....two.....*bark*.....". Was quite amusing.

Short Entry

2006-01-09T09:33:00.000-08:00

Skipped practice this morning because I had an upset stomach most of the weekend. Thought it best to rest for a day.

Am loving Iyengar's new book. It's really helping me gain a deeper insight into yoga. Can't put it down. Also received in the mail this morning, "The Hidden Secret of Ayurveda" by Robert Svoboda. Looking forward to reading that after, "Light on Life".

Not much else to say. Practice has been good lately, finally using my cotton mat, and hoping to make it David William's workshop on Thursday night, funds permitting.

Peace out for now :)

Light on Life

2006-01-05T16:31:00.000-08:00

Well after a stressful first half of the day, things have settled. My brother was highly stressed about one of our client sites and wanted it redesigned. So I redesigned it and he was over the moon and said I took a load off his chest as the client was on his back. Well, now it's done and everyone is happy, I'm leaving the office. I'm going to go buy myself a copy of Iyengar's latest book, have a nice dinner and relax before a another practice in the morning...yay! So many things are now coming into the light about this day and about what certain things mean and what I can learn from it all.

Career Dilemma

2006-01-05T14:08:00.000-08:00

My day started out great with a good practice and time to have a herbal tea and read my book before work, but once at work, it started turning the other way.

I work for my dad and brother's web design company designing web pages and updating them. These days I seem to be spending most of my time updating sites, but every now and then I get to design one. Anyways, I had a big fight with my brother about where I'm going with the business, etc. He wants me to be much more involved and to take more of an interest. Yeah, according to him. My dad and him own the business and therefore spend almost every hour of their day involved with it. Totally understandable, they own it. For them it's a hobby and their life. For me, it's a job for the time being. It pays well, is flexibile and secure. I am pretty sure I don't to do this for the rest of my life. I mean I really enjoy it but at the same time requires a lot of time outside of work hours developing and building on my skills. They want me to spend more of own time (the very little that I have) on developing them more and keeping up to date with the industry. It's IT. It progresses so quickly and once you spend time learning something, it's outdated within six months. I really hate that. If I enjoyed it as much as a hobby it would be no problem, but it's not. I work 8.30 - 5.30pm every day, get home at 6pm, have dinner and get to bed by 8.30 to read before falling asleep to get up at 5am for my practice. See the little time I have? I'm okay with this as it's entirely my choice, but to spend more time taking more interest in the business and so forth is not something I'm looking forward to. I know everyone who has a career has to constantly keep on top of their industry, but I'm just not sure this is my industry. Heck, I don't know what the hell I want to do. I know I'd like to do something to help people, but in what way. Health wise would be good. Maybe some form of alternative medicine, nutrition, yoga.

For the time being I'll reallocate my time at work to learning a bit more at work, but there is always so much work to do during my work hours aside from learning more than I do daily anyway. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I should start looking a little longer term about what I want to do with myself regarding a career or job. I just don't know what to do. I'd love to stay here but god it can be demanding and require so much extra time keeping yourself up to date, etc. And I have no formal qualifications. I'm all self taught and left university as I hated my course. Yeah - computer programming. So not me. But here I am. But without this job I would be where I am today. It's not as if I don't like my job, just I have little time to keep myself updated. I always have so much work to do. I'll have to reallocate my time better and see what I can do.

It's just been a bad day so far. My brother is so career orientated, so focused on financial stability and wealth (well the whole family is really. They all (3 siblings) studied commerce at uni). I'm different. Money is not a main priority for me to the point that it is for them. I'm obviously in a big universal lesson of balance and direction at the moment. Well, I wasn't until my brother shoved it in my face, or is that the universe? Either way, it'll probably kick start something for me - whatever that is. The only thing on my mind lately is to establish a solid practice and to save for mysore. I'm enjoying each day doing my practice, coming to work, reading lots, etc.

The concern of my dad and brother is that if I don't put in as much time as they want me to, then I'll fall behind in the industry and possibly have no place in it. and with no qualifications - what would I do? Thing is - I'm their key man. I do a lot of work and have no spare time at work (well very little) to spend on reading and learning more and more. I do all our clients (200 +) website updates and adding content to every new site. My dad does all the programming so he has no spare time and my borther sells and does accounts. Without me, they'd be snowed under. I can totally see where they are coming from about what they want and it is reasonable to a degree because it is a fast paced industry. But why am I so hesistant. I feel like I'm going around in circles. *deep breath*

Well I think I'll do as I do normally but take an hour at work each day researching/reading about web design, etc. Collect new ideas and apply them to areas I see fit and see what happens. I guess it's all trial and error. I know everything will work itself out. Or will it. Argh! Relax Craig. Just let it flow, let it be. Relax. I'm just a little stressed. So I'm going to go and sit by the river near work and look at the sky and breathe. I'll read all this later and wonder wehat the hell I was thinking. Read how stressed and confused I sound. We all have bad days. I haven't had one like thins in a very very long time.

Butts, 8 Limbs, Reflections

2006-01-04T17:23:00.000-08:00

Almost everyday as I drive from the shala to work, I see at least one person throw rubbish from their car. Most of the time it's a cigarette butt. Today I saw a woman throw a cigarette butt from her car when we were stopped at the traffic lights. I tooted my horn to get her attention but the light went green and she thought I was tooting her to move forward. It gets me so angry sometimes. My yoga teacher says that she feels compassion for people like this. She said that you move beyond feeling angry for people who seem to have no idea or just turn a blind eye, to feeling compassion for people like this. I feel little compassion for people like this at the moment. I just see it too often for my liking. They know what they're doing.

I have noticed how much I have changed since starting Ashtanga. I am more observant of my emotions and how I respond to stimuli, rather than react. But the feeling of compassion has not arrived for people that litter without thinking of the consequence or who chose to ignore it.

I get excited about what I'll learn as each day goes by from my practice. What I'll learn from reading more about the philosophy of yoga. I'm been reading a fair bit about the other limbs of ashtanga and am finding it all very intertesting. Most of it feels familiar, like I'm remembering. I can see how everything pieces together. How one limb affects the next and so forth. Can anybody recommend a good book on the 8 limbs? I'm really wanting to read more about them.

Practice went well again today. I had to do adjustments to Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana as my left knee has started to hurt, but padmasana was fine at the end of my practice. Strange. I'll just have to do some adjustments until it's better. I don't want it to turn into something nasty. Oh, and for the first time I got into Sirsasana without a little jump to get me up.

I've been thinking about my blog lately and how it reads, etc. I read other Ashtangi blogs daily and find them so interesting and amusing. I've never met the authors, yet know so much about them from their blogs. It's really nice. I wonder sometimes who is actually reading my blog. Sometimes I feel like I'm writing to a big empty space. It's a weird feeling. That sounds so lonely...lol, but it's not. I'm just curious. I wonder if you can track where people view your blog from. Is there some sort of tracker/stats thing? Hmmm, interesting question.

One thing that really bugs me is having so much to say about certain things, but cannot find the words to express. I wish I could write about how I feel before, during and after practice but just can't get it onto the screen. You know when you have an absolutely amazing practice and it's blown your mind and you feel that extra bit more on top of the world, well, how the hell do you explain that, or is that it? Does it need to be explained or shared? I just wish I could share with some of you the feelings I get from practice, but I know you all get them too. I just get blown away sometimes at just how powerful this practice is. It's addictive.

But I think (sometimes way too much, especially today) that this blog is meant to be how it's meant to be. I just write and share and hope that it reflects at least a little of who I am. I know my writing style needs work and it may not always sound interesting, and there is little structure, but blahhhh. Accept what is for what is I guess. I'm just having one of those days where my mind won't stop. Since Sirsasana this morning I've had so much going through my head. I need to go home, do some Suryas and then relax with a good book.

New Year

2006-01-03T12:00:00.000-08:00

First day back at the shala for the new year. Even though it was only closed for a week and a half, it felt longer. I love it there. There were only a handful of us in the room this morning, including a few people I've never seen before.

Practice went really well. No dramas which was nice. I did lose concentration a little bit, due mainly to the distraction of just being back in the room and soaking up the atmosphere. And it was great using my new mat. Everything feels so much better on it. I feel like I have more space now that it's wider than my old one. I'm really excited about this year ahead and working towards the goals I have set myself, especially a daily asana practice.

NY's Eve day was the hottest December day on record. It was 42.9 degress celcius. AD and I spent the day at Susi's place to escape the heat. We spent all day talking our heads off. That's what I love about my "non-muggle" friends, we can talk non-stop and have the most amazing conversations all the time. "Muggle" friends are non-spiritual, non-new agey, etc.

NY's Eve night was spent with my "muggle" friends at my friend DJ's place in Kinglake - a 45min drive away in the hills over Melbourne. It was an okay night. I don't drink often at all, or much for that matter, and was in bed around 1am after several drinks. I didn't care that the party was going on without me. I just wanted to sleep. No offense to the people there, but the conversations were not that interesting. I mean some were my "muggle" friends. My "muggle" friends are not very spiritual, or have much interest in the things I'm interested in. So I was in bed around 1am and awoke at 6am. They were all still up at 6am and were all looking seedy and hungover. I felt refreshed, had done some suryas, and made a big fresh pot of chai for everyone. I was ready to see the day and did not regret going to bed one bit. I realised a few things from that night - I don't have much in common with my "muggle" friends anymore, and I have different priorities to them. I feel okay with growing apart from them because I feel I'm heading in the right direction with my life and that will bring it's own rewards. I hope that doesn't sound bad. It wasn't meant to.

From Studio to Home

2005-12-29T10:39:00.000-08:00

Well, another Xmas come and gone. It was a pleasant day with family and friends and lots of food and presents. AD woke me up at 6am for pressies. He was so excited and was dying to open his. It was our first Xmas together. Seeing his face as he opened his presents was priceless. From him I got a brand new 7mm thick black yoga mat. I used it for the first time today. It's unreal! Like flying a magic carpet! Haha! Now all it needs is a nice bag to carry it in.

We then headed to my folks place to do the traditional opening of presents and Panettone for breakfast. From the folks I got some money for my new drum, a fantastic canvas bag for yoga (as I live out of it practically - AD's place, yoga, work, etc.), candles, my favourite nag champa incense, t-shirts, chocolates, etc. Then we all went to my sister's house for the traditional Xmas feast lunch. Roast turkey, pork with crackling, glazed ham, roast veggies, pudding with brandy cream and custard. I don't eat meat usually, but allowed myself a very small serving of each. After lunch we gave more presents - TinTin series on dvd, carlos castaneda books. After lunch, AD and I then went to my friend Susi's place where we drummed and played around and I made a fresh pot of chai. Susi gave me a Tibetan singing bowl for Xmas. It was the exact one I pointed out to her months before at Chai Hill. I was totally stoked!! A Tibetan lady sells them there. It's such an awesome instrument. I never realised how deeply I am drawn to it. I now use it before and after my home practice and adds a nice little charm to the opening and closing prayers.

Since the studio closed for the year last week I've only done about 4 home practices, one of which was just 10 A's and 10 B's. Not the best effort. I miss the studio. I enjoy home practices but am finding it hard. Although this morning's was a great practice, I still don't have all the discipline I need to do a regular daily practice at home. I'm too dependant on the studio at the moment. I love it there. I love the routine of driving in there and having chai afterwards, and not to mention how more focused I am there. I've had to start making fresh chai at home to have after practice to keep myself going. It makes such a difference. I only have to get through until Tuesday...phew! But I must say, having chai after practice, doing the practice in the morning sun, and using my new mat at home is starting to make home practice appeal a little more each day. But I still don't want to do it every day.

Practice itself has been pretty good. Some days I really lack energy and my balancing asanas have been a bit off but they're the only hurdles at the moment. I'm also working on opening my left hip a lot more by doing some extra asanas too. Seems to be working slowly, yayness! Nothing else to mention about the practice itself for now.

Oh, and I finally bought a thick mysore cotton rug from Mr Vinay. He offered the best price including shipping and the total was less than half the value of one rug from barefootyoga.com without shipping. It should arrive next week.

I'm at work this week despite most people in the country being on holidays/festive mode. I prefer taking holidays throughout the year when everyone is working. Feels better, although I take the odd day to go to the beach, which is what I'm doing tomorrow. I like taking a week off every few months rather than all at once over summer. That way I enjoy the year more and feel less stressed. Can't wait for the beach tomorrow!

Happy new year everyone! May the new year bring much joy and new adventures for you all!

Last Led, Xmas Cheer

2005-12-23T15:56:00.000-08:00

Had a two hour led class this morning which was the last one for the year. I haven't been to a led class in a while because I don't feel as comfortable being told when to breathe, etc. Maybe I just have to learn how to go at my own pace a bit more, I don't know. Maybe I just need to attend at least one a week. I'm not struggling or anything but at times it was distracting being on my third breath when the class is counted for their fifth and vice versa. I lose my focus when this happens. But all in all the class was unreal today, the room was completely full and there was heaps of energy. When we toned "Aum/Om" the room just came alive. Like we were all in a distant place. I could sense so much light beaming in through the big windows and touching everyone. It was divine.

I have never ever in my life sweated so much as I did today. I'm serious - I was dripping consistantly throughout the practice. It was bloody awesome. It was highly frustrating and dangerous not having a mysore rug (could I make mention of it any more...LOL) and only having a small hand towel to keep my grip, but it must have looked funny.

The practice itself was really good besides losing concentration several times. I'm not used to led classes, but will do at least one a week out of 6 practices. I was able to bind in the Marichyasanas except for Marichyasana D, did an ajustment for my left leg in Ardha Baddha Padma Paschimottanasana, and was pleased with my back bending. I went up 3 times for 5 breaths and then once for 25. I didn't think I would be able to do it, but was able to.

After class most of us stayed for breakfast. Everyone brought a plate of food to share. There was so much food - heaps of fresh fruit, organic breads, some chocolates, coffee, chai, etc. It was really nice to be able to talk to people you see almost everyday but don't get the chance to.

I'm feeling on top of the world today after being at the shala. Most days I feel great but today especially. I feel like I have a bit more clarity, like something is revealing itself to me, or aspects of self are revealing more. Funny because last night I gave myself a reading with Jamie Sam's Sacred Path cards and came up in the reading. What a place to be: one of the best practices ever, weekend tomorrow (get to play my 'Storm' at Chai Hill), Xmas this weekend with the family, new yoga mat, seeing and feeling results from practice (not just physically). I'm looking forward to the new year now. I've set myself a few solid goals and am looking forward to working towards them.

I wish all my fellow Ashtangi's and their families a happy and safe Xmas :)

Djembe II

2005-12-22T09:52:00.000-08:00

I had such an awesome day on Saturday. I met up with my friend Susi at Chai Hill as usual and one second we were in the sun drinking chai, and the next....well. Right above us, out of nowhere, was a dark grey sky. A fresh wind picked up and within seconds we were drenched. Everyone was. Big tropical storm sized raindrops, and hail stones the size of an Australian 5 cent piece pelted the ground. Thunder and lightening raged above us. Such exhilarating energy. I've always loved storms and get so excited when I'm in one. Such high energy and beauty from Spirit. What a day! Everyone was soaking wet and running for cover. I loved the feeling of every drop on my skin. I felt so alive, so close to Spirit. So connected with my environment. Looking up into the sky I received the name for my djembe. The vessel that would give so much and take me to places I'd only dreamed of. I was thankful to the animal, tree and people who had already given so much for me to have the drum I was going to get.

About 2 hours later Susi and I were in a West African store and I was purchasing my new drum. Everytime I've bought a drum (now 5) and made one, there has always been a storm. This day was no different. The first drum I saw was the one that resonated with me. I knew that this was "Storm".

"Storm" - hand carved out of West African Mahogany and sounds unreal!!

And the drum bag.

After I'd bought 'Storm' and had a couple of coffees at a cafe nearby, we then went to another West African store on the other side of the city. A smaller collection of drums, but still of excellent quality and size. After we played a few, we found the right one for Susi. Once we got back to the car, we sat on the curb and we played our new drums in the sun. People walked by while we drummed, laughed, smiled and lost ourselves in the rhythm of the moment. Two best friends, Two new wooden friends, and one magickal moment!!

This week practice has been fantastic. Now that it's a lot warmer, I'm sweating a lot more and loving it. It's unreal! It really feels like I'm doing a workout and getting rid of heaps of toxins. Not to mention the extra sweat has been a relief in the Marichyasanas. I can't wait to get a mysore rug as it's getting dangerous on my mat. I'm using a small towel on my sticky mat in the meantime and it's so dodgy.

Adam gave me money to get my xmas present this morning from the studio. I really wanted a new yoga mat as the one I have is not wide enough or thick enough. Plus it's a bonus for when I wash my mat. Now I can wash one mat and use the other while it drys. My current mat takes days to dry. I bought a 7mm thick black VB mat from the studio. Man, I love this thing. I'm going to wash it first and then use it for the first time on boxing day. Adam's going to give it at xmas but I had to get it this morning as the studio closes tomorrow for the holidays.

Practice is going really well at the moment. I'm now struggling with my left leg in some asanas. I can get padmasana but now can't get Ardha Baddha Padmottanasana that well with my left leg. I was able to before, but now it's changing. The knee hurts a little bit. It's not getting worse but there's some discomfort. I know the hip needs to open a lot more, and Greg gave me some extra asanas (which incidentally are in intermediate series) to open up my hips. I'm really careful not to push myself and then damage my knee. This is yoga not some competition. If I go as far as I can in certain asanas without hurting my knee, will it eventually open up over time?? I know it will, but I just can't see it happening at the moment. Patience....patience...I know. Don't be too excited to get it.

Everything else in my practice seems to be going really well. But then again you always think that after a couple of really good practices. When you have a bad one you tend not to think this way as much...haha. But, overall I think I've found a nice pace and comfort zone to keep working in. Practicing 6 days in a row is definitely the key so far. I'm still trying to stay up longer in Sirsasana though. Probably one more second each day...haha.

And while I have the pics, here is my cedar Native American Flute in the key of F#, and the leather bag I made and lined with rabbit fur to protect it. I might look into flickr or something to add more phootos. Saves having to download them everytime.

Djembe

2005-12-15T09:28:00.000-08:00

I haven't posted in a week because I haven't really had all that much to say. Just the usual routine. Practice has been great this week and have really enjoyed it. Now that we're getting further into the summer weather, I'm really needing to get a mysore rug. Amanda said if I wait until Sam comes back from India he might have some to sell at the studio. Fingers crossed - they are hard to come by here in Australia. To order from overseas is just not worth it, postage is too expensive.

I've only been to the studio twice this week and had two practices at home because I only have a few of classes left on my 12 pass card. I want to save them for next week, the last week for the year. Home practices have been much better than I thought they would be. Getting on the mat was the hard part. Heading to the studio and having fresh chai after class is always a great motivation, but then again, the practice is the ultimate motivation, but we all have our off days. At home I went up to Navasana even though I haven't been given Marichyasana D or Navasana yet. I do them in the led classes, but not in mysore. I'm finding my left hip and knee in Marichyasana B and D in half padmasana is not as deep as my right. I can't get as far on my left side, so I've been doing added postures to help deepen it. I feel so off balance having unequal sides. Is this normal to begin with? Will it even out? I hope so.

I am so excited about this weekend!! I'm going shopping for a small djembe. Finally!! I've wanted a small djembe to play like a darabukka for 3 years now. I want a nice wood, hair on the hide on the sides, deep warm sound and nice carving around the base would be nice too. You can never have enough drums. I've got 3 darabukkas and one djembe and now I'll have a small djembe. This way I can play both West African and Arabic styles on the one drum and not have to lug the heavy djembe and darabukka around when I want to play both. A smaller djembe is much more convenient to carry places - to the market on Saturdays, on picnics, to friends, camping, etc.

Ujjayi Orgasm

2005-12-09T09:56:00.000-08:00

I usually have Fridays off as there's no mysore class, only led which goes for 2 hrs and makes me late for work. But today I did it anyway. We were only led up to Purvottanasana (but we continued on with our own practice) as our teacher had the beginner's intensive people to instruct as well. Practice was really good today. I felt quite flexible except occasionally my muscles were shaking without getting as far as I normally do in each pose. I usually can go alot further in each one but today some poses were restricted by shaking muscles. It was bothering me at the beginning but then I just tried my best to not let it bother me and after that, it didn't. There was even no shaking towards the end of my practice. Everything flowed quite well, which is a nice change from yesterday. But one really distracting thing was this guy next to me, who's ujjayi breath sounded like the mix between an orgasm and a painful exhalation. Not pleasant at all. When I first heard it I almost pissed myself laughing as it caught me by suprise. What was this guy doing? It was so annoying. But that's how he does it. It was a real lesson on focusing my attention that's for sure.

I pick up test results from the doctors today. Just the usual checkup stuff - blood type (which I have no idea about), kidey and liver function tests, etc etc. Amanda is going to help me work out a good eating plan which I'm excited about. Diet is a whole area I need to learn more about. I have so many books already lined up. Where do I get the time to read them all. It would be so good to not have to work and just do my practice and then have the whole day to just read, relax, talk to friends, get a massage etc. I just have to go to mysore :)

Thank god it's Friday, the weekend is almost here. I love my Saturday practice, Chai hill with friends, drumming in my friends teepee Saturday night, practice on Sunday and lots of sunshine. I love summer!!

Oh, and good news about our dog Arnie. It was a benign tumor thank god. Some sort of fatty growth. Still dangers involved, but it's not cancer. Such a relief. He was so cute yesterday after the surgery, walking around all dazed and confused from the anaesthetic. He got lots of cuddles as you can imagine :)

My Little Man

2005-12-08T10:01:00.000-08:00

I got some horrible news last night. Our family dog, Arnie (golden retirever), has got a lump on his chest that the vet believes is a tumor. He's having it removed as I write this and then sent for further testing. I call him my little man. He's so cute and dopey and loves cuddles. I spent an hour giving him belly rubs last night and telling him what was going to happen to him today. I told him to be strong and brave and that we were here for him and that I'd see him tonight with treats. I can't wait to get home and see him.

I struggled to get out of bed this morning but managed to make it to the studio much earlier than I usually do, even though I got up late. Weird when that happens. I sat in padmasana on my mat for 10mins as I do before starting. I couldn't focus, was easily distracted, had too many thoughts and feelings and therefore my practice was not that great. I felt rushed through the entire thing for some reason and kept forgeting how many breaths I was up to. It was disappointing how scattered I was. Once I'd started the finishing postures, everything seemed to get back on track the way it is supposed to. I have a lot of difficulty working out a comfortable distance between my legs for the standing postures. I've been told to have the length of one of my legs between my feet, but still have trouble with it. Well, this morning anyway. I'm really going to have to focus on them tomorrow and get some more help to understand them better. Maybe it was just how today's practice was. I'll just see how I go tomorrow. Some days you pick up things to correct in your practice and then the next day it's as if you didn't need to correct it. One day you realise how out of line you are and then the next you can't figure out where you were out of line. It's awesome observing how your practice changes from day to day. It's exciting when you start to discover what things affect your practice, especially certain foods and sleep patterns. I've had two late nights and it shows. I have to force myself to go to bed early tonight.

I gave Amanda two kirtan cds this morning and she was overjoyed at receiving them. She's so sweet. She has suggested starting kirtan at the studio next year some time. I'm glad she's thinking of doing it. I love kirtan and would even like to drum for it. We have to somehow get a harmonium without it costing an arm and a leg. The best part of my day is how I feel just after practice and am able to relax with a cup of chai and chat to people and learn so much.

Kung Fu Snobbery

2005-12-06T16:29:00.000-08:00

I went to the local shops this arvo after my doctor's appointment and I bumped into my old kung fu teacher. She asked what I'd been up to and why I never returned to classes. I told her I had found Ashtanga yoga and she had this look on her face (like, "oh please, it's not as good as kung fu") and said, "whatever" and then walked off. I couldn't believe how rude she was. For someone so skilled in the martial art of Kung Fu and at Qi Gong, she didn't seem it. It's true there could be a number of factors as to why she was in the mood she was in, but I was stumped. She's usually quite nice and pleasant to talk to. I couldn't help but have a smile on my face as she stormed off. I just thought it was such a strange meeting and found it quite humourous. Some people are just weird!

Even though I was feeling quite exhausted and it showed in my practice this morning, it still felt great. I was feeling quite scattered though and my balancing postures were all over the place. I became really dehydrated halfway through the standing postures, and I had to stop and sip some water. Guess that's what happens when you practice next to the heater...LOL I even completely forgot Utthita & Parivritta Parsvakonasana and didn't realise until Virabhadrasana. Where was I this morning? Who knows, but I certainly don't. It was a strange practice but good at the same time. I had a late night last night too, so that probably didn't help my feelings of tiredness and lack of concentration. Despite all of this, I felt great. Even during the practice, but especiually after it. I spent a good 10 minutes in Shavasana and was totally transported somewhere. I was in the room but wasn't at the same time. I felt I'd fallen into a deep trance but still aware of where I was. It was so rejuvenating. If only I could have stayed a lot longer in it, but had to go to work. I can't wait to start work later by an hour each day. I need that time to digest everything after my practice. To talk to other ashtangis, to have more then just one cup of chai, to not have to rush off into peak hour traffic. That time will come. I tell ya, I'm learning a whole lot about patience from this Ashtanga business :) Who would have thought a scorpio would learn some patience. Ha!

The Iyengar class that AD was going to attend last night wasn't running. No one was there at the hall or what ever the place was. He even rang to double check that it was on. Maybe he got the address wrong or perhaps it's an old advertisment he has. Who knows. He's going to go next Monday. I can't wait to hear how he finds it.

Off to Japanese (Teppanyaki) for dinner tonight with my brother and dad. Each year we go out for dinner for our work xmas party. I love Japanese food and the restaurant we go to is the best in Melbourne. I am, however concerned that eating so much and getting to bed later than usual is going to affect my practice. I don't do it often, but I'm actually interested to see how it will affect it. Oh god, I'm becoming a yogaholic.

Another Year Gone By

2005-12-05T14:20:00.000-08:00

Another weekend gone already. This year has just flown. But when you actually think of specific moments throughout the year it seems about right. I remember a few events back in April and it does feel like a little while ago. But boy it feels like this year has just flown. It has by far been one of the best years of my life. For years, I had for some reason, had very strong feelings about my 24th year being a powerful year, and it certainly was. Not just from a physical, emotional perspective, but from a shamanic and spiritual one as well. This year I've taught drumming workshops for the first time, made my own hoop drum and started shamanic drumming, met an amazing group of friends, met my wonderful partner, learn a lot about myself and the world around me, started Ashtanga yoga, travelled to the NT, got drumming gigs for the first time, and the list goes on. Definitely a year of growth. I hadn't actually looked back over the year at what I had done and experienced until just then. Kinda trippy. I don't even know why I started this post like this, I only meant to write the first sentence...haha. Gives me something to reflect on as the year draws to a close, and for a new and wonderful year ahead.

Got to the studio this morning and Graeme and Leonie Northfield were doing workshops which I forgot about. I did my usual mysore practice in the same room as the intro classes. I had a really good practice this morning. G was teaching and gave me a lot of information when she adjusted me several times. I can't wait to work on what she has told me tomorrow and see and feel the difference. Apparently my feet were not parallel in Urdhva Dhanurasana which was causing a bit of pain in my left shoulder. I wondered what was causing it. Other adjustments included: keeping my elbow in more in Parivritta Parsvakonasana (I have slightly over-extending elbows), and Sirsasana - getting into this asana more slowly and without any little pushes off the ground. It is so nice to be adjusted in Balasana after Sirsasana. It feels awesome having someone push down on you. It's so rejuvinating after standing on your head :)

AD is off to his first yoga class tonight. I'm so excited for him. I really hope he enjoys it. It's a one hour Iyengar class just around the corner from where he lives. As my lifestyle is changing due to Ashtanga (which he has been an excellet supporter of) he thought he'd try some yoga. I hope it's a good little introduction for him.

I was lying in bed last night reading Sure Ways to Self-Realization by Swami Satyananda Saraswati and so much started to become clear. It's hard to explain properly, but just how I've been feeling lately due to my practice, suddenly started falling into place. Almost as if I got some clarity. It's still yet hard to determine where, but it's there. It's such an awesome book, giving an overview of many techniques and ways (as the title suggests) to self-realisation. It's worth a look at.

Heading into town tonight to pick up my cheque for a gig I did on Saturday night. I played some bellydance music on the Darabukka for a 50th birthday. There were two arabic drummers, one ney & zorna, and three bellydancers. Good thing where I have to go is right opposite a Turkish place which has the best food :)

Post Title Here

2005-12-01T20:17:00.000-08:00

I've been so busy with work and getting used to the whole getting to bed early thing, I've hardly had time to blog. Practices each day this week have been great. Today was especially good. I had much better concentration and breathing. Earlier in the week I kept losing count of my breaths during practice so today I paid more attention, not just to the number of breaths but to regulate each puraka and rechaka. And boy did it help. I was sweating throughout the entire practice from beginning to end, it was unreal! Not that I haven't before, but today was just so much more powerful. I just love the little improvements with each practice. I can gradually feel it flow a little bit better.

The asanas that I'm really enjoying (well all of them, but in particular) are the Marichyasanas. There's something so powerful about them. It's hard to breathe in them, but they are so uplifting. Much like the fresh cups of chai after practice. What a way to start the day. Shame it's followed by eight hours behind a computer. Oh well, over time that will change.

I've decided to make an appointment with my family GP for a checkup. I want to find out my blood type and get the usual tests. This way I can look into foods according to blood type, etc. and start exploring my diet more. It's time I started doing this. Talking with Amanda this morning has been another sign to start looking into it more.

Moonday tomorrow, so no practice. A nice little sleep-in perhaps. I was thinking of still getting up and maybe meditating, but a sleep-in feels just right. Plus it's like 34 degrees celcius today and that always makes u tired.

I feel like I have more to write but I can't think of anything now. When I'm not writing in my blog I always think of stuff to write, but now I'm blank. Guess it's time go lie down and read.

Let It Flow

2005-11-26T18:22:00.000-08:00

I took yesterday off from practice as I needed the sleep. Some nights I'm able to get to bed early and other nights I struggle with it. It's the whole adjusting thing. I'm learning to just let everything flow and accept it. To be patient with everything that's coming up. Metaphorically it's like the dam wall has been broken and it's time to just let it all flow. Sometimes I think way too much about things rather than just allow myself to feel. To be in the moment, the present. Not worry about the future as only now is what matters. The future is just a trick. The shadow of my death is over my left shoulder, so I have to live for the moment. Easier said than done I know, but that's the challenge. Worry about what can be changed. If I can't change it, why worry about it. Worrying won't change it. Why not put my energy into something that will only aid my development. So much is up in the air at the moment, but I'm learning to be okay with that because I can see the need for it. I'm just going through a major transformation and my practice is making me aware of what's important. It's helping me prioritise things so that I can become a better person. If I have to perceive that everything in my life is hectic or whatever for the time being, then that's how it is. I know it's all for a reason.

I look back on what I just wrote and think, huh, why can't I always remmeber that...lol. It's funny how from day to day we get clarification on things and other times we feel cloudy. I think recognising our lessons is one of the biggest lessons. We can't become better individuals if we can't recognise our own lessons and learn from them no matter how severe or light they may be.

I love practice on Saturday mornings at the studio. The energy feels so much more relaxed because it's a weekend. My practice went really well today. Quite a few times I'd forget how many breaths I was up to but I just did a couple of more breaths when this happened to compensate. I was also able to bind one side, can't remember which, for the first time in Marichyasana C. I was so excited. I also had no shoulder problems in Urdhva Dhanurasana. Practice helped centre me a lot today.

After practice I went to Chai Hill (our name for the market we go to weekly). It was so nice out there today. I always have such a great time with my friend S. She is so amazing and always puts a smile on my face. She bought me Carlos Castenada's "Magical Passes" for my birthday. I can't wait to start reading it. S, today was unreal! So much to talk about next week. I'm glad you brought R with you. Such a funny day :)

Last night's Drum Circle was a great success. Even though I had little time to get everything together, everything just fell into place. Even though I had an image of how I wanted the centrepiece to look, and was unable to make it so, it turned out better than I expected. The centrepiece is to represent a piece of me and it wasn't until we had started the evening that I realised there really were aspects of me in it. The pinecones, Egyptian candles, flowers from Adam, seedlings for everyone, Spirit candle, the incense, etc. It was simple, yet effective. By chance (if you chose to see it that way) I even had the exact number of seedlings for each person there. It's great how things turn out if you just let things flow.

Fitting It All In

2005-11-24T14:59:00.000-08:00

Got to the studio at about 5.40am this morning and got to speak to Amanda before I started. I mentioned to her that I was feeling kind of all over the place, that I wasn't feeling grounded. I told that I was finding the lifestyle changes hard - getting to bed early, etc. I know it's very new to me and early in the process but it was getting to me a bit. The main problem is not having enough time to do the other things in my life that I love doing. I'm finding it difficult finding time to do certain things. I do my practice in the morning then head to work from 8am - 5.30pm (has to change once I establish a solid practice), then get home and by the time I unwind and eat, it's time for bed again. Argh! Where does everything else fit in? I'm not going to stop my practice. No way in hell. I love it too much. Amanda suggested I just focus on establishing a good solid practice and that everything else would align itself and balance out. That over time I'd rearrange things in my life, for example change my work hours and perhaps do less, etc. I kept this in mind and during my practice I started feeling better. Waves of reassurance tended to wash over me. Then the next second, frustration would wash over, and back again. But by the end of my practice I felt a lot better. I didn't feel as worried. I know things will sort out. I just have to relax. I've been a bit emotional lately as you can tell.

As for my practice today, well I definitely felt a little exhausted. My energy was certainly low, so I just did would I could at a pace that was comfortable. I was not going to fall in the trap of pushing myself too much and risk hurting myself. I found that I'd sweat for a while and then not and then sweat heaps and then not. It was annoying because when I was in Marichyasana A - C I needed the sweat to bind. But my arms and legs felt dry and my arms hurt rubbing on my legs. But then a couple of poses later I was sweating again. I know that when I have more energy and hence my practice flows better, I sweat a lot constantly. So I put the sweating cycles down to lack of energy - hence losing breath in practice too. Twice I had to yawn. I guess I'll just see what happens from now on. Despite all of this, I really loved today's practice. After it, I just felt so clean and fresh and ready to face the day. I feel so much better.

Going home to pot some plants that I plan to give to everyone at Drum Circle tomorrow night. I volunteered to do the centre-piece for the circle. I've dedicated the circle to the Standing People (flora), to honour all that they have given us. I've decided to give everyone a seedling that they can plant and look after. To represent the growth in their own lives. To root and watch their own goals, dreams, etc. and as everyone has one, it reflects the growth of us as a group. To observe how we all gorw individually and as a group over the next year. I'm also going to read some literature to the group on the Standing People from the Native American perspective from a book by Jamie Sams (Sacred Path Cards). Here is some text I had on my computer (not sure where it's actually from though) about the Standing People in the NA tradition.

"Standing Ones pray as they lift their arms upward in eternal praise and thanks to the Creator. The Standing People are forever connected to the Mother Earth receiving her life force and resources as they supply fruits, berries, sap, nuts, grains and vegetables for nourishment. They give wood for heat and lodging. Their bodies become home to many animals, birds and insects.

One of the greatest gifts of the Standing Ones to humans is teaching us valuable lessons of life. One only has to look at a tree or its smaller cousins to realize they are flexible against heavy winds and adapt quickly to changing conditions.

They teach us to remain calm and deeply rooted in our traditions during times of storms and upheaval. They teach us ways to survive against many adversaries and yet remain balanced in the Circle of Life. "

Blog Software

2005-11-23T14:23:00.000-08:00

The level 3 course was cancelled this morning as there were not enough people interested/registered. I was really looking forward to it, but will do the next one that runs. Practice this morning was a little difficult in that one nostril was partially blocked even though I did Jala Neti last night before bed. I'll have to start doing it before practice. I can't go through practice breathing through one nostril again - it's totally uncomfortable and limiting. I noticed the changes in my practice because of it - less flow, more distraction, less focus, less stamina, etc.

In Urdhva Dhanurasana I noticed that my left shoulder gets a small pain in it. It can't go back as far as the right shoulder. I'm not entirely sure what it is, I've never noticed it before. I'll mention it to Greg. It might just not be as flexible. In Sirsasana, I'm finding I lack strength a bit of strength in my arms to keep me up. Sometimes I'm okay, but today for example, my arms just didn't have the strength to keep me up. Gemma helped me today with this pose and told me to keep my stomach in more, this made my arms feel weak and I had to come out of the pose. Other times with Greg or on my own it's just been the balance thing and not strength as much. As Guruji says, "Practice and all is coming" :)

I'm thinking of looking into this blogging caper a bit more. I want to be able to change the look of the blog. Have an image header, upload pics - am new to the whole blogging thing. I might even register a domain and make myself a site. But I'll just start off small by reading a bit more about optimising blogs. Is there software that a person can download on their PC, make a blog and post to their own server and not have to deal with these type of sites??

I got some money for my birthday and I'm trying to decide between a particular drum I've been wanting for ages. A small djembe that I can play both as a djembe and a darabukka. I hate having to carry two drums around. Having one would be much better. The other option is to get yoga classes. Classes would be a big help as the petrol costs of driving to the shala can add up. Hmmm decisions decisions.

Yoga Blows Ass

2005-11-22T13:32:00.000-08:00

Had a pretty nice practice this morning considering I had a really crap sleep. I just couldn't get to sleep last night. I was waking up almost every hour thinking it was time to get up for yoga, it sucked. You'd think I was a kid thinking it was xmas. Anyways, I managed to get to the shala early and centre my thoughts before practice. I was kind of feeling all over the place emotionally this morning. What is yoga doing to me? One second I'm grounded and centered and the next I feel confused and vague. Things just kind of feel all up in the air, like so much is shifting around me, but I know it's me and not my environment. I feel like so much is changing. Then I tell myself to breathe and relax and not worry about any of it. Just be. I don't quite understand the emotional side of yoga. So much learning and experiencing to do.

Back to the practice - I asked Greg this morning which asanas I should go up to in Primary Series. I went up to Marichasana C. I can only bind one side in Marichasana B and C. It's strange how one side is more flexibile than the other. Will it eventually even out with more practice? I love the Marichasana poses as they feel so uplifting. Greg also told me not to worry too much about the finer details of the asanas but to just establish a good practice for the time being as I've been away for a while. I need to build up some stamina I know that much. It feels so good going at my own pace.

I found this really funny page. Not sure how I found it, but I did. Not sure who did it, but I couldn't help but laugh. Reminds me of a birthday card a friend got a few years ago of a picture of these two women in a yoga class both farting and looking at eachother. My friend used to always say she'd fart in yoga and gets really embarrassed....LOL.

A Yoga Weekend

2005-11-21T14:48:00.000-08:00

Had a fantastic, relaxing weekend. I did mysore class practice on Saturday morning and it was such a great practice. I felt a lot less rushed as I didn't have to leave straight for work afterwards. I now realise that having to rush after practice could be interfering. So I'm going to do my best to not let it bother me or interfere. I'm also thinking about changing my work hours so that I can have more time between the end of my practice and starting work. That means finishing later and having less time between finishing work and getting to bed early, but I'll see how it goes. I haven't made the decision yet.

Anyways, Saturday's practice went quite smoothly for me. It just kinda of flowed well. At times it felt like I was there on my own. I totally tuned in to my practice (which I hope will continue the more I practice) and forgot others were in the room. This is what it should be like anyway. Watching others and unconsciously judging is 'ego' stuff and takes away from ones own practice and goal of yoga. I was really focusing on my breathing and could see and feel how important it really is. I know it's really important, but Bernie helped me realise that relaxing the breath more allows one to go further into a pose, etc. I love this stuff. I'm now starting to relax a little about being new to it all. Being in a mysore class for the first few times I found I was nervous. Conscious of others in the room, feeling like people are watching me etc. But I'm starting to relax and not care as much. It's about my practice, not anyone elses. What I'm doing is what's important, not what the person in front or on the other side of the room with their legs behind their heads is doing. I'm also not finding it as hard asking for help when I need it. All these little hurdles don't need to be hurdles but are things that can really help you progress with your practice. It helps me relax and realise I don't need to worry about all the little things, the distractions and the paranoia of being new to it all and who's watching and judging me. None of that matters.

On Sunday I went to Bernie's led class. I'd only ever done one led class before earlier in the year. I asked her beforehand what I should do when we get to poses I haven't done yet, and she said just to try them. There was only a few anyway, but I did my best and found I went ok. Having the stamina to get thru the 2 hrs was challenging and I loved that. I didn't push myself but when I needed to rest I just put myself into child's pose and took a couple of breaths. I only had to do this once which was good. Some of the finishing postures I found a little challenging. I'm doing a beginner's #3 course this week and am looking forward to getting a deeper understanding of the practice, especially the finishing postures which I'm a little rusty on.

I didn't make it to practice this morning as I was so tired. Even though I got to bed early, my body desperately needed more sleep. So I slept in and feel much better now. Can't wait to practice tomorrow. My back muscles are a little sore from yesterday though. I'll be careful of that tomorrow. They just have to strengthen. And apparently shaking muscles is normal for beginner's as new muscle is building strength. It's important to really focus on the breath and ease off the muscles a little bit. Apparently over time when the muscles have more strength, the shaking will stop.

I washed and disinfected my mat yesterday and it's still bloody drying. I never realised how much it soaks up. Speaking of my mat, sometimes during my practice I need a mysore style mat over the top because it gets slippery, and other times it's too sticky. It's so weird. Where do I get a mysore mat from though.

And it was nice to finally be able to say hello to you Irene :)

Moonday Birthday

2005-11-16T11:20:00.000-08:00

Well it's a full moon and it's my 24th birthday - that has to mean something astrologically and energetically. I wanted to honour today being moon day and not practice, but I just so wanted to be at the shala on my birthday. I'm still a little sore after Monday's practice but decided to practice today and just really listen to my body and not push it. Having been a while since practice, Monday's practice was a real wakeup call for my body. I was so sore, not from having pushed myself which I didn't, but from just not having done yoga in a while. I had to skip practice yesterday to recover. I'm still a little sore, but I remember being like this when I first started earlier in the year. My body is just getting used to it. Finding all these new muscles and giving them a stretch. Well, I didn't push it today, but man did I feel exhausted. About three people said the same thing. My body kept shaking (by the way, can someone tell me why one's body sometimes shakes during practice - it doesn't happen often but occassionally. My teacher couldn't remember why. She said it was common). I found I wasn't really getting anywhere near where I usually get with each asana. It didn't bother me though. It was just nice to just be back on the mat, doing what my body would let me do, and just breathing and feeling alive. Watching thoughts go by like a movie.

Can I ask people's experiences with Moon Days. Is your practice different? Are there noticable changes? Do you respect moon days and not practice? Your thoughts, etc are appreciated :)
For more info on Moon Days check out this link to Tim Miller's website.

After practice I made some chai and read a tribute book to Guruji. It was an awesome book that was sitting at the shala. I'll have to get a copy. It was so nice to not have to rush straight off to work after practice. I told my dad (who is also my boss) that I'd be over and hour late as I was going to relax and take my time after practice for once (it is my bday afterall which you'd think I'd be able to have off). I was finally able to socialise after practice. I met a lovely woman called Bernie and another woman who I think may be Linda? I've always had serious issues with remembering names. It's been a NYs resolution for the past 2 years and you'd think I'd have it down pat, but not yet. Anyway, it was nice to meet a few people from the shala for once. I'm sure I'll meet many more :)

One woman today said she comes from Glenhuntly which is a fair drive to Fitzroy. She thought she was the only one driving far to get to the shala, until I mentioned I came from out Greensborough way and that Greg comes from St Andrews. It's nice knowing we're not the only ones getting up early, driving into town to start at 6am. Says a lot about the practice itself, and the motivation we all seem to have.

I've found a new addiction - reading Ashtangi blogs. There's a mountain of info pertaining to one's practice that is invaluable. Especially reading the Mysore blogs. Man am I getting excited at the prospect of one day in the future heading to Mysore for 3 months or more. Reading what people write about their practice and how it affects their lives is awesome. The kinds of issues they face, the emotions they feel, the obstacles they come across. It's also great reading about the things Guruji says in his Sunday conferences at the shala - from the Mysore blogs. Things I wouldn't know if it weren't for the people keeping blogs. Thank you to everyone that does :)

I'm having lunch today with a dear friend of mine, Seline. I can't wait. We've known eachother for about 7 years now. She's a mother of three, a pagan marriage celebrant, a witch, clairvoyant, the list goes on. Tonight we're doing a little celebration for the fullmoon at her place. Ahh, you have to love birthdays.

It's Mat -time

2005-11-14T15:19:00.000-08:00

I had no problems getting up this morning at 5am having not done so for a while. I got to the shala at about 5.50am this morning. It was so good to be back there. I saw Amanda and she was happy to see me back. It was great to have a little chat with her about the past few months very briefly. She demonstrated a variation of downward dog for me before I started my practise. How can you not love Amanda - full of knowledge, caring and always smiling. She helped elevate my mood instantly. Greg had a little chat to me about my practice and about taking it easy etc., as he I've dicussed my wrist with him in detail. Both Greg and Amanda offered asisstance throughout my practice and it was greatly appreciated for my first day back at the shala. They show a genuine interest and concern for their students which is appreciated by all.

My practise was only an hour today as I just wanted to take one small step forward and test my wrist a little bit. Greg suggested I only do an hour for today and just see how I go throughout the day. My practice felt really really good. I was quite conscious of my wrist being my first practice in a while, so that was a new challenge, but overall it flowed quite nicely. I was probably the most focused I have ever been. I was able to really focus on my body in a different way. I listened to my body more. After practise I just felt fantastic!!! I was jumping for joy inside. I remember making myself chai after practice and just couldn't stop smiling. All these feelings came flooding back. God I love this practice!! As I left the room Amanda yelled out infront of people "Craig, welcome back," which just put the cherry on the cake...lol. While driving to work after practice, I was listening to some kirtan in the car, when all of a sudden the sun came out from behind a cloud and I could feel the warmth on my skin. I started getting a little teary in the car. I must have shifted something energetically during my practise.

I had a fantastic weekend. Friday night Adam and I went to the Theosophical Society bookshop. I hadn't been there in years. An unreal place. I could spend hours there reading. I bought two books. "The Teachings of Don Juan" and "Openening to Channel". On Saturday we went to St Andrew's market as usual, and it was so relaxing. Always a pleasure hanging out with my Sue and Seline. Saturday arfternoon Adam and I mowed the lawns and did some small gardening. Sunday we went for a bbq lunch at my sister's house to celebrate my birthday (16th Nov). So that's the general gist. Until next time my fellow readers - I wonder how many are actually reading this...mmmm :)

Moving On

2005-11-11T13:58:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm finally back to my yoga routine again. My wrist is 98% better. I've learnt many personal lessons since June when my wirst first became a problem. I consider it very much a test from Spirit. A test of many things including patience, discipline, motivation, etc. I am looking towards the future with much excitement as to the development of my practice and personal endeavours. I've been out of the ashtanga loop for several months now but feel that everything that has happened to me since then has been needed for my own progression. I guess you could say I have found a new part of myself, gained a new outlook on things. Although my yoga practise suffered and I face new challenges with it, I spent more time reading about yoga and yoga philosophy so that I wasn't losing touch completely. The fun now comes integrating what I have read with my practise.

So much has happened over the past few months, but instead of writing it all down here, I think I'll just start from here on with my blog. Bits and pieces will come into my entries as I write.

I'm seeing my teacher Monday morning for some more adjustments to my practise so that I can work around being careful with my wrist. I have no pain in it now, but just don't want to hurt it again.

Tonight Adam and I are going to the Theosophical Society bookshop for a browse. It's such an awesome bookshop. There's a few books I want to get including "The Teachings of Don Juan" by Carlos Castaneda, and one on yoga which I can't remember the name of. I'm off to St Andrew's market tomorrow to drink chai in the sun and hangout with my friends. It's a weekly thing I do Saturday mornings and is a highlight of my week. Sunday I'm having a BBQ at my sister & brother in-law's house to celebrate my brithday which is the 16th. The family hasn't been together in a while so it will be nice to see everyone. And of course I've requested a Jamaican Chocolate Cheesecake for dessert...mmmm evil!

Shamanic Drum

2005-08-09T16:39:00.000-07:00

Practise this morning was great. My wrist wasn't too sore which was a good thing. It was really cold this morning which made it extremely hard to get out of bed and even to stay on the mat. But I did stay and finish my practise. It took quite a while to get into it as I was quite stiff and I noticed myself shaking from time to time. It wasn't because I was pushing myself a little, but felt more like a release of stress and tension. It's been a weird week and I could feel something moving energetically during my practise. I know it'll take a couple of weeks to get back into the routine and allow my body to adjust. It feels fantastic doing so. Looking forward to tomorrow's practise now. I love getting towards the end of practise with the sun peaking through the clouds and its rays greeting me for the new day. So magickal.

In other news in my life, I'll be making a Native American hoop drum this Sunday. I'll be making it with my friend Wolfsong in her teepee. This is a project long overdue. It will be the beginning of another new chapter in my life. I want to explore the world of shamanic drumming quite intensely and having my own drum made by me will only empower that journey. It will be a spiritual day indeed.

Finally!

2005-08-04T10:29:00.000-07:00

Finally I'm back on the mat. I've started doing my practise at home again. Can't afford studio time at the moment, but that's okay because I'm able to at least do some practise at home. My wrist is still not 100% but I'm able to work around it for once. I've also been doing medition quite regularly which has been helping me a lot, especially since my yoga has been on hold. I am missing the shala very much, miss the vibe, energy and spirit of the place and it's people. It's been a big lesson the past couple of months but one I needed to learn. The next step is to continue working on my practise at home and get back into the swing of things and then when finances allow, I can return to the shala. I can't beleive how much I've missed practise. I now realise just how important my practise is to me. The benefits are truly amazing. There is much more respect for what I am doing. A new chapter is beginning :)

Road to Recovery

2005-07-19T09:24:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm slowly back on the road to recovery. My wrist is slowly getting better. I can't remember exactly what the doctor said but basically I've damaged some ligaments in my wrist. I've got it bandaged and am taking anti-inflammatory tablets which are really speeding up the healing process. I'm not one to take medication unless necessary and in this case it was. It got to the point where I was getting pain from pouring a drink and even driving. But all of that is much easier now. Having it bandaged stops me from using it as much and enables it heal. I haven't done yoga for a couple of weeks and still find my wrist hurts, but have done a lot of meditation and kirtan. I did a meditation course where I was introduced to many forms of meditation and it's been a saving grace while my yoga practise is on hold for a bit. I've certianly got a clearer idea about a few things in my life and feel I'm slowing getting back on track. I'm certainly making my life a lot less hectic. Adam did the meditation course with me and has started to do his own prasctise and has even started hatha yoga near where he lives. It's great to see him making so many positive changes and great that we can share yoga and meditation together.

In other news, I'm going to Darwin for a week in September to teach beginner's arabic and african drumming with my old drumming teacher who lives there. She's running a 3 day drum/dance camp and asked me to teach beginners. I'm looking forward to the little break and can't wait for the 30 degree weather.

Other than that, I've been spending a lot of time drumming (especially native american drumming), playing the native american flute (my new love), and reading about meditation and shamanic drumming/spirituality. I finished reading Moola Bandha and have been doing deep breathing using moola bandha almost every day to relax and rejuvenate etc. A powerful technique that I now have a deeper understanding of which will help when I hit the mat again. I'm going to start my home practise again tomorrow and slowly work my way back into it without using my wrist too much (still can use no pressure on it). I'm just going to do what I can. It's better than nothing and I really need it.

Frustrated

2005-07-06T08:29:00.000-07:00

Well, I've had the flu quite badly for the past week. I've just got a chest infection left that still wont go away. It doesn't appear contagious because not one person around me has contracted it. I'm on antibiotics for it but it doesn't appear to be working too well. I'm coughing every 2 seconds. It's horrible. The flu was the worst part with severe body aches, high fever for 3 days, dizziness and delerium. I have never been as sick as this before. Thank God it's mostly over.

I woke up this morning with a really sore wrsit. I could hardly even butter my toast. It is a very severe sprain and it is taking a very long time to heal because if I accidentally bump it, it's back to square one with the healing. I must have slept on it wrong last night because it was getting better until this morning. I have little patience - I'm really f###ing over it!! I've been trying to do practise at home but it's almost pointless. I can't even do the sun salutations and warmup and even the sitting postures hurt sometimes. I don't know what to do. Has anybody got any advice? I'm so tempted to just stop yoga until I'm completely healed. I don't know if that's a good option or if I can actually do it, but I'm in a rut and I hate it!

News Update ;)

2005-06-28T10:29:00.000-07:00

What a crazy week or so it's been. Work has been great while the folks are away. No major dramas and all work is getting done. Going quite smoothly I must say. In other news, Adam is recovering from chicken pox which lasted only about a week. He's so lucky it wasn't any more serious as it can be quite severe for adults. While still unwell, we received news of Adam's Grandma in hospital. She had a stroke and was in a coma. Adam flew up and got a chance to speak to her once she woke up and spent 2 days with her before she passed away. The funeral is next week and Adam will be flying back up to Brisbane for that. I'll still be running the business so unfortuantely I'll be unable to attend. I've been spending the past 4 days house sitting for Adam and looking after his cat. But I picked him up from the airport last night. Thank god he's home.

My wrist is still no better and I'm really starting to get annoyed. I miss yoga so much!! I'm giving it until Thursday and then I'm going to yoga and discussing my options with my teachers. I thought a break would help my wrist but no! Why is there always something in the way. Argh!

Woke up this morning with a chest cold. I could feel it slowly settling in yesterday and by this morning it had settled in and is causing discomfort. Well, it is winter afterall. God so much has been going on around the place. When will it all just settle and allow us to get back into our old routine of early morning yoga, work, early night, no worries! I wish I had more patience sometimes.

On Friday I bought myself a Native American Flute in F#. I'm so excited! It's made out of cedar and coming from Arizona. I've always loved the NAF but never (until the past week) thought about playing it. So, I'm going to learn it.

This is short because I feel a little under the weather, but I'm still here and crossing my fingers and toes I will get my yoga routine back before too long :)

To Practise or Not To Practise

2005-06-21T10:26:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been 5 days since my last blog and since my wrists started to hurt. Still no change. They're pretty sore when any pressure is applied to them. They seem okay if I do the adjustments Greg told me to do which included doing the Sun Salutations on my knuckles, but I tend to figure that any pressure applied cannot be good for my wrists right? That's why I haven't been going to class. I feel bad about it, but I just really want them to get better. They even hurt sometimes when driving. God knows how the hell I hurt them. One thing is for sure, I'm definitely going to pay much more attention to my practise than I have been. No way can I afford this to happen again. What the hell do I do if I can't really do the Sun Salutations or any asana where my wrists are required? Should I be going to practise regardless? I might call the studio and speak to one of the teachers there. I hope my wrists get better soon, I've got an arabic drumming gig on Saturday afternoon in the city. Arabic drumming doens't hurt them too much which is good but still.

I did do a practise at home on Saturday morning. It was okay. My wrists were sore obviously and I couldn't do quite a few asanas. But what I could manage to do felt fantastic. Only problem was not being very warmed up from lack of surya namaskaras. I really have to talk to my teacher about what to do.

Had a very relaxing weekend. Met my dear friend Susi (big hugs) at St Andrews market again for several cups of chai in the sun. Weather was beautiful - nice and sunny. Plenty of people were there this week, especially a big group of drummers. There were 3-4 sets of dun duns (african bass drums) and a lot of djembes. It was a great atmosphere and lots of people were just laying on the grass bathing in the sun and feeling the drums through the earth.

Susi - remember to pick a day for our drum circle. Let's get this thing off the ground. It has so much potential. I can't wait!

In other important news, Adam has come down with the chicken pox - poor thing. He didn't get them when he was younger and I was worried he'd get them really badly now that he's an adult, but he seems to be on the mend. He had a fever for a few days but all is starting to clear up. I popped round quickly last night to surprise him with a bag of goodies I put together for him. We haven't seen eachother in over a week. Argh! To top it all off, he got a call last night informing him that his Grandmother (who he is very close to) is quite ill in hospital. I got a ticket for him this morning so he'll be flying up to Brisbane to visit on Friday morning and returning Monday night. I hope everything will be okay. I just wish I could be there for him. I can't afford to get the pox especially while I'm needed at work to run the business. He went to the doctor today to find out if he's still contagious. Hope not.

My younger sister got back from Canada last week. We had dinner at my older sister's on Saturday night. It was so great to see all her photos and hear all the stories. She was so worried about going on her own and I'm so glad she did. It was a completely new experience for her. She had an absolute ball! And boy does Canada look amazing!

Is This Normal?

2005-06-16T11:43:00.000-07:00

I didn't make it to practise this morning but instead had a little sleep-in and then meditated for half an hour before getting ready for work.

I finished yesterday after a stressful day of work and was feeling a little under the weather. Both my wrists and muscles were a little sore, probably from pushing myself a little too hard in yesterday's practise. It didn't feel like I pushed myself. It's always bizarre when you're at practise and not feeling sore and feel quite flexibile, yet the next day you can really start to feel your muscles becoming sore even if you don't think you pushed yourself. My wrists are still quite sore, not as bad as yesterday but they still need a rest. I was feeling quite exhausted after work (I suppose the stress of all the work I've had at the office was affecting me), so I decided to have the night to myself, cook a huge vegetable & tofu stir fry, 2 big glasses of veggie juice, several pieces of fruit and curl up in bed with my book. As I was in bed I was starting to feel bad about deciding not to go to practise this morning. It wasn't just because of my sore muscles but feeling like a cold was coming on. Although I was listening to my body (and it was saying it needed one day off) I couldn't help but feel bad. It was weird. I started getting paranoid thinking, "yoga is making me much more aware of my body and it's needs and it's telling me to have a rest for a day, but then again are you just exaggerating how your body feels, shouldn't you be going to practise regardless and just doing a variation of your practise? Is your body really needing a rest?".

I read an article last night in AYL about yoga and how it is applied to many areas of one's life not just the physical, it's a way of life (for those that take yoga beyond the physical). It made me realise that it was okay for me to have a day off and that yoga has entered many areas of my life. After reading the article I realised how much has actually changed for me in such a short period of time. So I decided that if I was going to have a day off from asanas, then I would put aside some time in the morning for meditation. Does anyone else sometimes feel bad for missing a practise? Are these normal feelings? When some of you ashtangis started yoga, did you feel like so much was changing but you couldn't exactly pinpoint all the changes/feelings? What do you do when you're sore from a practise? Do you practise again the next day?

Tonight I have arabic drumming class. I haven't been for two weeks so I'm looking forward to it. Good thing is my left arm is on top of the drum and doesn't hurt my wrist when I hit the skin, otherwise I would have to miss it. I think I'll do the intermediate class before my usual advanced class so that I can make up for a lost lesson. Before class I might go to Ayla's (the best Turkish food around) for one of her famous doner kebabs and some baklava...mmmm. I swear it helps me drum better...hehe.

Yay! It's raining outside and my lunch break is soon. I love having a hot drink when it's raining outside, you get to rug up and feel all cozy. God that sounds gay...lol. Funny that!

Sirsasana!

2005-06-15T10:04:00.000-07:00

I had a really good practise this morning. I got to the studio early to let Greg know about my sore wrist and to discuss what changes can be made to my practise until my wrist has healed. I've basically just made changes where I can to avoid pressure on the wrist. In Surya Namaskara A & B, especially in Chaturanga, I used my knuckles rather than my hands which didn't seem to hurt and downward dog seemed okay to begin with. I ended up putting my knees on the ground for the last couple of salutations. I didn't do any jump-thru in the vinyasas but rather stepped forward and step backward. I grabbed my elbows in Parsvottanasana rather than hands in prayer position, used my knuckles in Purvottanasana, and skipped Utpluthee because I didn't want to subject my knuckles and wrists to any more pressure. I was actually quite exhausted by the time I'd finished Sirsasana and my upper back was a little sore once I'd come out of it. Which, by the way, I was able to to get into and out of completely on my own for the very first time. I was so excited! It felt unreal being able to get up into it. I was up for about 5 breaths before coming out of it. That's when I had to get Greg's assistance to get back up into it. It really took the energy out of me, and I was really wanting to get into Shavasana which I got so deep into. I wasn't sleeping and wasn't wide awake but somewhere in between. Everything seemed so surreal. I honestly thought my yoga practise today would not be as good because of my sore wrist but am quite surprised at how great I feel. Afterall, yoga is not just about asanas.

I've recently run out of protein powder which I usually have daily, and I've noticed how sore my muscles are from not having any. I haven't had any for about a week and have noticed the change. I'm getting more today as it really helps with muscle growth and repair, joint function, etc. If I don't have any I get really sore the following day from practise. Why I'm writing this, I don't know. But if any of you other yogis feel quite sore after practise, an increase in protein is what will help.

Regarding the email situation at work yesterday, well it turned out that most of the eastern seaboard had problems with email yesterday. Not everyone of course, but many ISPs had problems. But all was fixed and everything was back online by the afternoon. The internet was not affected and sending emails was not a problem, but receiving email was for a lot of people. Turns out any emails sent during that period cannot be rescued.

I'm at work designing a new site for a video editing & duplication company while listening to Ravi Shankar and picturing myself in Mysore. Okay enough dreaming, back to work for me :)

Try and Focus

2005-06-14T15:58:00.000-07:00

Back to work after the long weekend. Had a very relaxing weekend. Got a lot of sleep, was able to do some chores, see some friends I hadn't seen in a while, see the family, do some reading, etc. It was so good to just spend time at home without having to be somewhere, pottering around all day in my pjs with no phone and no plans. I didn't do any practise at home like I wanted. My left wrist is a little sore at the moment. I don't know if it's from doing all the Vinyasas between asanas or because of some other asana. But it hurts more today as I did a practise at the studio this morning. I'm just going to have to wait until it feels better otherwise it could get worse. It's hard having the patience to let your body heal before jumping back on the mat. I hate missing out on practise. I get so impatient, but that's one of the major things you have to learn with yoga is patience. Learning to listen to your body, to respect it and work with it rather than against it. What can help speed the healing process? What adjustents can I do to my practise now that my wrist is a bit sore? Do I do practise without vinyasas inbetween asanas? Do I do my practise minus the asanas requiring the use of my wrist? I'll go to the studio in the morning and see what Greg says.

This morning's practise was pretty good. It didn't flow very nicely mainly because of my wrist and the fact that I hadn't done practise for a few days. The first practise back after having a break is always the hardest. I didn't do any backbending today, Utpluthee or Purvattanasana because of the wrist. I also found it hard to focus and concentrate for a couple of reasons. Should I say why? Well, let's just say having someone close to your mat with offensive BO first thing in the morning is never pleasant, added to the sound of another person breathing very strangely. It didn't sound like ujjayi breathing at all, more like someone with a sinus cold. Hey, I didn't judge them, but boy was it distracting. Then I couldn't help but chuckle as someone on the other side of the room let out a really loud, well u know. It happens during yoga sometimes I know, but when two people near me chuckled I just couldn't help it either. So as you can imagine, it took me a while to focus this morning. The highlight of my practise was being able to do Sirsasana almost by myself. I needed Greg to help me up into it, but once I was up I was able to balance completely on my own for the first time. It felt awesome. I can't wait to be able to get up on my own.

Today is the first day that my brother and I are running the family web design business on our own because our dad is over in Canada with our mum for 3 weeks. It's been pretty cruisy all day with no major problems, however in the last 10mins all our clients are having trouble receiving email including ourselves. Talk about a major issue. We're trying to figure out what's going on at the moment. What are the chances - first day on our own and none of our clients are able to receive email...LOL. The Gods are testing us! haha

Time Out

2005-06-10T08:32:00.000-07:00

Well, I've decided not to go away this weekend for several reasons. It was all very last minute but felt Spirit has other things in store for me. I've been feeling really stressed and am needing some serious 'me' time and I think a long weekend to do all the things I need to do is just what I need. I plan to get some much needed sleep, clean the house a bit - have a domestic day pottering around the home, spend some time out in the bush meditating and focusing inward, and not have to be anywhere. To have a few days to relax and unwind and put a few things in perspective is exactly what I need.

Yoga has certainly slowed me down and I'm now realising just how busy my life actually is. I'm not comfortable with that so it's time to re-evaluate. I really would love to go away with everybody but feel that it really isn't a good time for me. A sudden change I know. It's bizarre how Spirit works sometimes.

My car is in major need of a service so I've booked that in for next week. I was worried about the car on the 3 hour drive there and back for the weekend. It is better for me financially to get the car serviced and purchase some much needed gym gear for yoga and some new shoes that are way overdue. Is all of this selfish of me? Probably, but seeing Kirsty last night, in Cottles Bridge to get my hair cut, really put some light on things. I went to her place last night as I said to get my hair cut and was there for a few hours. We had dinner and a great talk and it made me realise a few things. I just had to stop and listen to myself talking and realised I really need some time out. So I feel that's what this weekend will be. I could get that by going away with everyone, but the little man inside is saying otherwise...lol. I'm a little disappointed as I really would love to go away, but there's too much right here infront of me that needs my attention. I just have to accept that. Everything is for a reason right? Sometimes I get so confused about everything. Am I over analysing, thinking too much, making mountains out of molehills? Ah, how the mind works. Sometimes you just have tell your mind to shut up! LOL

The next three weeks are going to be really full-on at work. My Dad is going to Canada for 3 weeks with my mum and I'll be doing my job as well as my dad's while he's away. I expect long hours and lots of work. So there's that extra stress and responsibility. Nothing I can't handle but still. Also to the fact I've been feeling like some things are spinning out of control for the past couple of weeks all reassures me I've made the right decision, even though it sounds like I'm unsure of that. Okay enough said now. Time to enjoy this much needed time out :)

Just Another Day

2005-06-09T11:12:00.000-07:00

Practise wasn't too bad today. I was feeling generally exhausted, mostly due to doing practise three mornings in a row and not being used to it. I would have spread out the 3 days but I'm going away for 4 days and had to make 3 classes at the studio before I go. I'm glad I did as I now feel a lot more comfortable with mysore practise and love the vibe in the room. I love being in a room of people I don't know, haven't heard their voices, know nothing about them, yet we all gather before sunrise to do yoga. There's something special about that. The sound of everyone breathing mixed with the occassional person reciting the opening prayer is just hypnotising.

I've decided to pay for three classes a week for the next month and see how I go. See if I can afford travel costs for more days and more classes. At the moment 3 a week at the studio and a couple of home practises is what I'm aiming for.

This morning I went straight from Surya Namskara B to Utthita Trikonasana. How the hell did I forget Padangustasana and Padahastasana? Not only was I feeling quite exhausted, but I had trouble breathing throughtout the sequence as my nose was quite stuffy and I didn't have time to do a neti cleanse before practise. But I did really enjoy practise today. I kinda like it when you notice changes in your practise and your body.

Got nothing really else to write on here today. All I did yesterday was finish work, went to Adam's, had dinner, read my book and went to bed and got up again this morning for yoga. I'm off to get my hair cut tonight (am thinking of growing the back of my head and turn them into dreads), then shopping for food for the weekend, packing the car, then work tomorrow before heading away for the long weekend.

Yoga, Neti, Pizza, Blog

2005-06-08T15:40:00.000-07:00

Got to the studio a little earlier today to allow myself to focus and relax a bit more before starting practise. I like knowing I've got a bit of time before practise instead of arriving at the studio and starting pretty much straight away. I have to leave straight after my practise to get to work, so the extra time beforehand is quite beneficial. I asked Greg if he could help me with Shirsasana as I've been struggling with it. He helped me through it and gave me a better understanding of it, so it'll be interesting to see myself progress with it. He also added Marichyasana B to my practise today which I found quite difficult. I'm also having trouble with my left foot in that funny position in Janu Shirsasana C. My right foot is a lot better but the left is quite behind. No big deal, it's just time.

I've started getting the hang of doing neti cleansing without any discomfort and find my head to be clearer and more open from doing it. I'ts been such a help in my practise the last two days. Last night Adam wanted to see how it was done so I showed him. He found it quite interesting and was asking all sorts of questions. He's even started reading my yoga magazines and taking more of an interest in yoga. He even said he was going to attend a yoga class near where he lives to give it a try and insisted he goes on his own to soak in the experience. Could this be the start of something new? Hmm I wonder.

Last night Adam and I went looking for a new pizza joint as we both had a craving, and the usual place we go has got worse. We found the best place with the freshest pizzas. Not greasy, not over cooked, plenty of toppings, clean premises, great staff and the pizza was so fresh I'd never tasted anyhting like it. We usually eat pretty healthy but last night we had to fill our craving for pizza and for once we didn't feel full and gluggy (is that a word?) from a greasy pizza. Definitely going back.

I've been toying with the idea of registering myself a domain name and perhaps creating myself a site, but I have no idea what domain to choose and what to put on my site. I think first of all I'll get a domain and just put this blog there, then toy with the idea of creating a site. I'd love to get a digital camera and take some photos and put them on my blog, then create an image banner for the top and start making it a little more appealing.

Yoga & Drum Circle

2005-06-07T10:38:00.000-07:00

I was quite surprised at how this morning's practice went. I didn't expect it to be as good as it was. Nothing brilliant of course, but it was much better compared to my first mysore practise. I did make the mistake again of starting the warrior sequence before doing the balancing postures. I'll see if I remember during my next practise. But today flowed nicely and I remembered every other posture I'm doing. As I'm new to mysore style, Greg, my teacher, came over and adjusted me several times and also talked about communicating with him if I needed help with postures or if I'm adjusted too much, etc. It was nice to have a little introduction from Greg about mysore style and to feel comfortable to communicate with him about my practise.

I didn't feel nervous at all this morning. I felt really relaxed and didn't worry about other students looking at me, etc. I actually felt quite self-involved in my practice and focused on my breathing and bandhas quite a lot. I was sweating quite a fair bit today and a few times noticed my mat getting slippery. I really have to get a cotton mat. I went to StudioCirq on Friday night to purchase a cotton mat from Lindsay but they only had lavender. Sooo not my colour...lol She's going to try get me one from EMP in Malvern.

Another observation was how much easier it was to breathe this morning after doing a neti cleanse before practise. It's amazing how clear-headed you feel after. It was quite noticable when Greg was adjusting me and noticed me shaking a bit so he got me to breathe more intensely. I was able breathe much clearer than I have been able to. This helped slow the shaking and mild discomfort that came from the adjustment in a few asanas.

I spent last night at home relaxing, did a few chores, watched a couple of episodes of Sex & the City (borrowed the whole series off my sister), and read my book. I've almost finished reading Moola Bandha by Swami Buddhananada. An excellent insight into this very powerful bandha. An important read especially for us Ashtangi's who use this bandha daily. The next book inline is Surya Namaskara by Swami Satyananda Saraswati.

I can't wait for this weekend. I'm a member of a private drumming circle and this weekend we're going away for 3 days. There's going to be drumming (I'll be teaching some drumming basics in African and Arabic styles), ceremonial/trance drumming, healing therapies, yoga, the list goes on. There about 20 of us all up but not all of us are able to make it. It's just a great opportunity to get out of the city and spend some time together. The group was primarily Native American, but has slowly been changing to a more ecclectic influence. I'm looking forward to sitting around the fire, singing, chanting, talking, drumming, dancing and story telling, etc. It'll be great to get more in touch with our spiritual sides as individuals and as a group.

First Mysore Class

2005-06-06T09:11:00.000-07:00

Well, on Saturday morning at 7.30am I went to my first mysore class. I wasn't too nervous to begin with, but as my practise progressed and as the room filled up I started getting more nervous. I don't really know why. I suppose just because it was my first mysore class and was worried about forgeting the sequence, and being in a room full of people who have more experience, etc. I forgot the sequence a couple of times. For example I went straight into the warrior sequence and halfway through remembered I hadn't done the balancing postures. But I just finished the warrior sequence then went back and did the balancing postures. I put it all down to just first class nerves and am not worrying about it. It all happens for a reason. I know I know the sequence, I was just getting myself used to the mysore class environment. Things are run a lot differently to the beginner's classes. I didn't know what to do about the opening and finishing prayers so I just said them in my head. At least now I know what mysore is like and look forward to settling in and progressing with my own practise.

I arrived at the studio this morning at 5.35am and locked my keys in the bloody car. I had to call the RACV from the studio and had to wait with the car in the freezing cold (in bare feet & thongs) for 45mins until they arrived. By then it was too late to start practise so I drove back home, got dressed and headed to work. I'll head back tonight to the 6.30pm led class. While at the studio I spoke to Amanda about my mysore class on Saturday. She was there and helped adjust me in a few poses. I spoke to her about forgetting asanas, opening/closing prayers, progressing with practise, and how new asanas are added to my practise over time, etc. Amanda adjusted me in Urdhva Dhanurasana by bringing my elbows closer together. I thought my arms were going to rip out of my shoulders. I didn't know my elbows should be straight inline with the side of my body shoulder width apart. I never knew my elbows were out a bit. My back muscles were sore the next day. I can't fully get into this asana when my elbows are more inwards, so for now I need that help getting into it. Amanda also adjusted me in Paschimottanasana D and I went further than I ever have by really working my bandhas and full ujjayi breathing. It can be quite uncomfortable to begin with but the more I focus on my breathing and bandhas, the easier it becomes. I was surprised I wasn't as sore as I thought I would be the next day having been adjusted so far into the asanas on Saturday's practise.

This morning when I got to work I had a parcel waiting for me. It was my new green ceramic Neti pot and back issue of Australian Life Magazine #4 which is out of print. I'm glad to finally have my neti pot as it's going to help so much, especially with my practise.

On Saturday after practise I met my good friend Susi at St Andrew's market for a chai and chat in the sun. It was so great, as always to see her, and hear about her week and what she's been up to. We always seem to have great personal conversations and she always seems to help me see certain things in my life in a different way. I've been feeling quite exhausted and busy the past week having not done many household chores, yoga in the mornings, early nights, working, drumming two nights a week, seeing Adam, etc. I feel sometimes that all I do is drive my car all the time. I have to look at the things I do and work out a better system. Thanks to Susi and yoga, I've been able to see certain things that need attention. There are so many new things in my life at the moment and many things are changing so it's just a matter of letting it all fall into place and finding a comfortable routine. Change can be hard as we all know, it's how you perceive it and how you deal with it that matters.

I also stopped in to see my other good friend Lisa on Saturday. She was busy painting new drawers for the nursery. God it's so exciting that she only has about 5 weeks until little Juliet enters the world. I can't wait. I wasn't there long on Saturday but had enough time to at least see how she is. We'll have to catchup properly soon. On Saturday night Adam and I went to his friend's sister's 20th b'day. It was a really good night. We all just sat around having a couple of drinks and hungout. We even played a game of twister...lol. Hadn't played that since I was a kid. Yoga certainly helped :)

Daily Studio or Half-Half ???

2005-06-02T10:30:00.000-07:00

This morning was the last class of the Intro 2 course and I can now start daily mysore classes. I can't wait to be doing more practise than I currently do. I have ocassionally done practise at home, but feel doing daily classes at the studio will help me get into a routine and give me the discipline I need. Then I can start to do more practise at home. I'd love to practise daily at the studio but it's fairly expensive not just for the classes but for the petrol too. I drive 20/25mins to the studio and then another 20/25 to work (which is near home). It is really frustrating. I just don't know what the best option is for me. I could perhaps start off with just three mornings a week at the studio and then the rest of the days will be home practise. That way I can take note of any adjustments I get and apply that at home too and it'll save in petrol. What do you other ashtangi's recommend? I can get 3 classes a week for $100 per month, or unlimited classes per month for $200, or unlimited for 3 mths for $500. I think i'll start at 3 per week for a month and then see how I go. A nice slow transition perhaps. I really don't know.

Anyways, this morning's class was a lot harder than usual for me. I was really quite exhausted. Adam was up most of the night with food poisoning, so I was looking after him and got little sleep. But I still went to class. I woke up late but managed to be the first in class. How I managed that I don't know. Being tired did not help one bit. I had to really slow down in class and really be careful with myself more than usual. It was a different experience but still a good one. I even forgot a few asanas today. My mind was all over the place. Lack of sleep, rushing to yoga first thing while half asleep - I just wasn't as focused as I would have liked. By three quarters the way through practise I regained my focus and was able to relax and feel comfortable with what I was doing.

After class I poured myself a chai out of the big steel pot on the stove at the studio (a very nice chai as always thanks to Amanda and Greg) and was able to talk with some of the other ashtangi's in my classes. We'd been in class together for 3 mths and had hardly said a word to eachother. It was nice to actually talk and get to know one another - a really nice group of people. Now we can actually say hello whenever we see eachother at the studio. Some of them are doing the Intro 2 course again and others are continuing on with mysore classes with myself. We also got to talk to Amanda (our teacher) after class about the transition to mysore and about different aspects of yoga, including having no expectations, how certain things in your life begin to change, how you begin to change, etc etc. It really put a lot of us at ease and helped us understand certain emotions we are all feeling.

Last night Adam and I went to the movies to see 'A lot like love' as I won 2 free tickets to it a week ago. It was an okay movie, nothing special. The usual 'chick flick' but have seen better ones. The romantic climax at the end was a bit weak.

Tonight I have Arabic drumming class. I missed last week so am looking forward to seeing what I've missed. I have loads of washing and several other chores to do before class which sucks, but there's nothing like coming home to a nice clean house and a chore-free weekend.

Closer to Self Practise

2005-05-30T13:58:00.000-07:00

Being the last week of the beginner's 2 course and the final week before starting mysore style practise, today's class was a mysore style practise. We were able to progress at our own pace and do our best at remembering the sequence. I was pretty much able to remember it all which I surprised myself at. After Marichyasana A I spent some much needed time on the finishing sequence. I used a blanket under my mat for Salamba Sarvangasana because the bone at the base of my neck really digs into the ground and hurts after a while. My teacher helped adjust me in this pose and I could finally feel what it is like to get this pose correctly. It felt awesome. It is taking me a while to get Sirsasana as it takes some time to feel comfortable standing on your head. I have difficulty finding the spot on my head that enables me to get into this pose. I find it hard to know if I'm straight in the pose or not and have trouble getting my legs up off the ground.

I'm really excited about starting mysore classes. I'm nervous too, but far more excited. Just to be in the room with everyone doing their own pratise at their own pace and feeling the vibe of the room. I remember being blown away by the led class I did a couple of weeks back. I stayed after class this morning, had a chai and watched the mysore class. It was awesome to just see people at different levels practising together. I could see how the more advanced students really flow with their practise. It just looked unreal, like a really soft flowing dance. Amazing.

One small concern I have is how much this is all going to cost me. Keeping a regular practise and driving half an hour to and from the studio every morning. But what is money when it's your health? I'm just going to have to cut back on other expenses which is fine because there is no way I'm giving up Ashtanga. No way at all.

Back on the Mat

2005-05-26T15:14:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a week since my last entry mainly because I haven't been to class because I had a foot infection. It's a lot better now, but before it was a lot worse and could hardly walk, I had to hop almost everywhere. Somehow I must have cut my foot and it got infected. My foot was swollen and tender. I'm on antibiotics and it's so much better. I don't take any sort of medication unless absolutely necessary and in this case it was. Thank god it's better because not being able to do yoga has been killing me. I feel like it's been so much longer than a week. But now I'm back on the mat!

Obviously having missed a week, this morning's class was a little off. There isn't anything in particular that stands out about the practise except for my energy levels being a little low and having to be a little careful with my foot. We only went as far as Marichyasana A before we went on to the finishing sequence up to Karna Pidasana. I have to start using a blanket under my neck in Sarvangasana as the bone at the back of my neck digs into the mat and hurts. It felt so good to be back on the mat this morning. Because I missed Monday's class due to my foot, I think I'll go to one of the led classes on Saturday or Sunday.

Tomorrow morning my younger sister is going to Canada for 3 weeks on a Contiki tour and then staying with friends before coming home. So tonight the family is having a dinner at my parent's house to see her before she leaves, so I'll miss arabic drumming class tonight. I haven't seen my little sister in a while as she's been away on Grad camp for her work so it'll be great to see her before she leaves.

Tomorrow night there is Kirtan again at The Satyananda Yoga Centre in Collingwood so I'll hopefully get along to that. Then off to my friend Ylleyna's for dinner and a dvd. She's off to China in a month for three weeks and I haven't seen her in a while either so it'll be great to see her again too.

Other than that, I hope to spend a lot of the weekend reading the mountain of books I've got to read.

Full & Half Vinyasa

2005-05-19T13:39:00.000-07:00

I found this morning's practise to be really good once again. We had a new teacher this morning who was filling in for our usual teacher who was doing Dena Kingsberg's workshop. She was a lot of fun and brought a fresh relaxed atmosphere to the class. I managed to go further than usual into each posture by really working my bandhas and being more aware of my breathing. I've just bought 'Moola Bandha - The Master Key' by Swami Buddhananda for a deeper understanding of this bandha. I hope it comes in the mail today. The more I read about Ashtanga the greater my understanding is of what i'm doing and why, which in turn can be appplied to my practise.

I only just found out this morning about a 'full vinyasa' practise with full vinyasa between postures and half-vinyasa between sides. The more I find out about ashtanga the more complex it becomes. It's unreal! Lino Miele recommends a 'full vinyasa' practise to those students who have completed primary series. He says it takes many years to build up the endurance and stamina. I'm sure there are people who have their own thoughts and experiences on this. I hope to discuss this with my teacher after next class.

Well, there's only 2 weeks to go until this course is over and I can start daily mysore classes at 6am at the studio. I've been doing practise at home on days of no class, but I'm really looking forward to mysore classes. I'm a bit nervous as I'm not entirely sure what to expect. I'm a little worried about not remembering the sequence and stuff, but I guess for those of us that are new that's what the teacher's there for too I suppose.

Morning vs Evening

2005-05-18T13:40:00.000-07:00

Dammit! I wrote a whole entry and then lost it. Now I have to try remember what I wrote.

Went to class last night at 6.30pm as I missed class on Monday morning at 6am. I noticed a big difference between practise in the evening compared with early morning. I had a lot less energy and concentration thanks to a busy day at work. The mornings are a much better time to practise as everything is fresh and I have the energy and concentration. Last night I had a lot of difficulty breathing throughout the practise. I was also unable to get as far in each asana as I usually would. I couldn't believe how much energy I lacked. My teacher noticed after the standing sequence that everybody was exhausted more than usual. The energy in the air was really bizarre, so she took us through some different asanas at a slower pace that enabled us to stretch and work certain muscles without pushing ourselves too far. It was a welcome relief by all. Like I said, the vibe was quite strange. We finished the class with a good 10mins in Savasana.

After class I had the opportunity to ask my teacher several questions I had compiled from reading Guruji's 'Yoga Mala' and from my own practise. Some of the questions were about: variations of Utkatasana, discussion about knees being at 90 degrees in such asanas as Virabhadrasana etc., discussion of bandhas, and correct Neti (nasal cleansing) technique and where to learn it. Talking to my teacher certainly shed some light on a lot of things as it gives me a deeper understanding of this practise.

Led Class

2005-05-16T10:19:00.000-07:00

Well another weekend over. I didn't make it to class on Thursday as I was still not 100% and didn't want to push my body. I figure when you're unwell it's best to rest.

I woke up yesterday feeling a lot better. Because I missed class on Thursday I went to a 2 hour led class yesterday. It was unreal. I'd never actually done a class aside from the beginner's courses, so it was a great experience. Everybody was so into their practise. You could feel a raw passionate energy coming from everyone. As I haven't been feeling well, I really noticed how little energy I had compared to the level I normally have. I rested when I needed to during class, but was able to manage getting through to the end. It was the vinyasa between postures that sapped my energy. I had difficulty with the finishing postures mainly because we are still going over them in class. Utthita Hasta Padangustana A, B, C, D today were the best yet. I didn't fall out of the poses once. I have a lot of difficulty with my toes in Janu Shirshasana C. I can't see how over time I can get my foot the way it's supposed to be. It just feels so unnatural.

New postures for the first time included Marichyasana A, B, C, D, Navasana and most of the finishing postures. I couldn't go very far forward with Marichyasana A & B but was able to bind them. I was also able to bind in C & D but had difficulty with the lotus feet in D. Navasana was unreal on the abs and I found it extremely hard trying to get my legs straight. Felt like such a great ab workout.

I realised I need to get a mysore style mat to go over my black sticky mat. I've been litterally dripping with sweat and it's been making my mat slipery which is quite dangerous. The only place I know that sells them is EMP Industrials in Malvern but they are only open Mon - Fri which means I can't get there as I work fulltime. I'll have to ask my teacher.

On Saturday I went to St Andrew's market and spent the day relaxing out there in the sun drinking chai and catching up with my group of friends. I got my haircut there from Kirsty. An amazing lady with such beautiful energy. She spent a long time travelling around India, does daily meditation and is a shiatsu massage practitioner. Everytime she cuts my hair we seem to laugh a lot and put eachother in really good moods.

I saw Greg and Tracey, the owners of the Ashtanga yoga shala, at St Andrew's market. I didn't get much of a chance to chat as I had my hair appointment with Kirtsy. My friend Deej, Kate and Sue came to the market as well. It was so great to see them all again. It's our weekly ritual, especially in summer, to spend almost every Saturday relaxing at St Andrew's in the sun drinking chai, shopping and sometimes drumming.

On Satuday night I went to my parent's house for dinner for my sister's 21st birthday. It was great to catchup with the family. After dinner I hired "The Next Best Thing" with Madonna, because I heard it had Ashtnaga yoga in it. It wasn't very exciting at all. There wasn't that much footage. Madonna is very good though.

Indian Groceries

2005-05-11T13:18:00.000-07:00

Class on Monday was by far the best yet. I found that it flowed really well for the first time. I was more aware of my bandhas and ujjayi breathing throughout the practise. I didn't have too much difficulty breathing throughout the practise. I still had trouble with the balancing postures but feel myself progressing very slowly. The best thing about Monday's practise was being able to get Padmasana with holding my toes behind my back, and holding my toes behind my back in the standing forward bend (Ardha Baddha Padmottanhasana). I felt a sense of achievement which was great. My teacher helped me get into full Padmasana and it felt fantastic being able to do it. The only other noticable thing in my practise this time was getting sore shoulders in the back bending (Urdhva Dhanurasana). I guess I just have to build up the strength in my shoulders, but I'll raise it with my teacher tomorrow.

On Friday I found an awesome little Indian grocery store. I found it just by chance. I was having my lunch at a little bakery near work and saw an arcade. So I wandered down and found it. I spent about 30 minutes in there talking to the owner about India (as I hope to go to mysore at some stage in the future), browsing the huge collection of spices and incense and groceries, and I ended up buying some chicken tikka seasoning, more chandrika soap (god i love it) and some mysore sandalwood soap. I have to go back and get my chai ingredients.

I've got a sore throat at the moment which is why I didn't write this entry on Monday. I took Monday arvo and yesterday off as was unwell. I still have a sore throat but am feeling better. I've taken vitamin C, echinacea, a couple of garlic cloves, drinking lots of herbal tea and lots of water. Why am I getting sick? I eat well, I exercise...I don't get it. Is there some universal/spiritual meaning behind it? I have my own interpretations. I just got back from that Indian grocery store I just mentioned and bought a veggie curry that I just made here at work and almost burnt my mouth off...lol. It was soooo hot, it was awesome! I've also just made myself a tea that is 'supposed' to help ward off the cold/flu. It's called Samahan (from the Deshiya System of medicine) and contains 14 different herbs. It tastes great! Hope it helps. I'm always open to alternative forms of healing. If it works it works. I tend to believe that just because Western medicine and science cannot explain a particular treatment or form of healing does not mean that it doesn't work. Like anything, some things work for some people and not for others. It's all personal experience.

Full Class, Questions, Chai

2005-05-06T20:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday's class was awesome. At times I found it a little challenging as I kept running out of breath. That's something I'll have to talk to my teacher about. We had a really full class yesterday (and would you believe one other male besides me...lol) as we had people who are already doing Mysore classes but needed a little refresher on some things, and we also had a couple of people from the first beginners course as they got the days mixed up. It was great to see so many enthusiastic people. When somebody was being adjusted, we could all over hear and therefore were aware of the adjustment for ourselves, so I learnt many new minor adjustments. The room was energetic and everyone seemed to be feeding off eachother's energy. I had a girl next to me and occassionally we would accidentally bump arms or something as we were so close as the room was packed. I'd read posts of people who had been to Mysore and mention bumping into people. Was a new experience - made me smile. Made me more aware of my body during the practice in a new way.

Over the past few weeks I've been reading John Scott's book and Guruji's Yoga Mala and have been writing down questions as I've been reading. I haven't had much of a chance to speak to my teacher about them as after class I often have to quickly shower and get to work or I'd be late. I often push the time enough as it is. But yesterday I showered, made myself a Chai and waited til my teacher was finished at reception to talk. I got my answers to most of my questions which was great. My enthusiasm sometimes gets the better of me but I didn't want to have a huge list of questions all at the one time, so I was glad I got the ones I had answered. She also discussed with me more about how the course I'm doing will run until the end in 4 weeks. More personal feedback, more mysore style towards the end, learning the sanskrit names for the poses (which I'm having trouble doing).

Aside from practise I've spending time preparing myself for more of a lifestyle change once I begin Mysore classes. Being disciplined enough to get to bed early (getting up is always ok), thinking about the impact this is going to have on my social life. Adam is very supportive which is fantastic. He saw me after class once and was blown away at how alive I looked. He knows how much I love it and how much it means to me and has seen so many positive changes. He said he fully supports me as he sees how happy it makes me. I had coffee with my friend Daniel last night and was telling him about the yoga I've been doing, but I somehow can't wonder how much will change in my life through doing this and how my friends will view my practise and dedication. There will be many sacrifices from my part. I'm guess I'm just thinking too much. But I know other Ashtangi's have gone through the same. I just like to prepare myself as much as possible.

Cold Autumn Morning

2005-05-02T20:32:00.000-07:00

Woke up this morning to a temperature of 2 degrees Celcius outside. The weather lately has been such a change to the warmth we've had most of this year. When I arrived at yoga this morning at 6am, quite a few people had sniffles and were commenting on their low energy this morning. I noticed it myself. My energy levels were a lot lower this morning than usual.

Class was great this morning. A much slower pace which everyone seemed to appreciate. I was getting short of breath during the first half of the class while my body was taking its time to warm up. It didn't help that I was tired because I got to bed late last night. Once I had warmed up I found all the forward bending to be exactly what my body needed. It felt so great stretching the hamstrings etc. Nothing else seemed unusual during this morning's practice besides being tired and feeling short of breath at the beginning. We started Janu Shirshasana C today and found I had trouble with getting the foot in the vertical position and opening the hip. Will see how I go next time. Only one other positive thing stood out - that was being able to go much much further into my forward bends. I have never gone so far. It felt fantastic.

Being a Monday I am so glad class was this morning. What a fantastic way to start the week. I look forward to eventually starting most of my days like this. What a natural high!

Had a relaxing weekend. Saturday I went to brunch with my best friends Lisa and Deej (Kylie). We went to one of my favourite cafe's in Warrandyte and sat outside in the cold for about 3 hrs stuffing our faces with eggs, french toast, oj, coffee, etc. It was so great to see them. Then I spent the rest of the weekend with Adam, bumming round the house in trackies, watching dvds, cleaning, eating, washing the cat (CC) etc. It was great to spend some quality time together as we both had a very busy week.

Jai Uttal

2005-04-28T13:46:00.000-07:00

Woke up at 5.10am feeling really tired but was quickly in the car and on my way to practise at 6am. It takes about 30mins to drive to the shala and this morning's drive I was accompanied by Jai Uttal in my cd player. I just got his "Kirtan" double cd yesterday in the mail. I'd ordered it from cdbaby.com. I've never been to any kirtan before, but I love this album. I loved singing to it in the car. Speaking of kirtan, tomorrow there is a kirtan class in Collingwood that I might attend. I've always wanted to try it.

Practise this morning was awesome! It flowed really well and I was conscious of a lot during the practise. Ujjayi breathing thru the practise was the best today. A few times it didn't flow well, but overall it was much better. I was also aware of my bandhas and am seeing how they affect directly. Today's balancing postures were also the best so far. I guess today just flowed really well and that was really noticable for me. I even noticed I was able to go further in almost all of the postures. Today we did Urdhva Dhanurasana again and this time it didn't hurt my back. I really felt it in my shoulders and legs. They're just building strength. We also prepared for Shirhsasana aswell. Next week we'll be going further and am looking forward to it.

Class at the moment is only twice a week because it's a beginner's (2nd) course, but I'm going to do home practise this weekend. Just to do what we've done so far. I'm finding twice a week just isn't enough.

I've noticed my mood has been so much better since doing Ashtanga. I really noticed this last night when I visited my sister's house. Just general catching up on what's going on in eachother's lives, etc. Getting comments from her and other people about looking healthier and being in good spirits has reaffirmed how powerful Ashtanga is. She said I used to look pale and sick. I was very skinny and pale and people used to think I didn't eat. Now I focus on what goes into my body and enjoy looking after it. We only have one, so best to look after it. It was fantastic to see her last night. She's looking really well and seems to be in good spirits.

Thank god tomorrow's Friday. I can't wait for the weekend. I just want to relax, read and see a couple of my friends and spend time with Adam. We've only been dating for a few months but so far it's going great. I got an email about an hour ago from my friend Lisa before saying she wants to catchup. Lisa is practically an older sister to me. We grew up in the same street. Her brother Daniel is also my best friend as we all grew up together. Anyways, it'll be great to see her. We'll probably go to St Andrew's market (hippy market in the aussie bush) then go for lunch somewhere. I usually go to the market every saturday morning during spring and summer and drink chai, read and enjoy the sun with some of my hippy friends. A fantastic way to start the weekend. I haven't been for about a month so it'll be good to go, but it's only going to be 18 degrees...eeek! Oh well, at least I can buy some Ayurvedic soap from the indian lady. She imports soap from Mysore and it smells sooooo nice and makes my skin really soft and smooth. It's the best.

Anzac Day

2005-04-26T08:43:00.000-07:00

Well yesterday was the beginning of the Beginner's level 2 course. It started at 8am and not 6am beacuse it was Anzac Day (public holiday). I was the only male in a room of about 6 females. I had a lot of difficulty breathing yesterday going from one pose to the next. Mainly because my body is healing from a few years of smoking. My lung capacity should get better over time. At least it's a good sign and will only get better. Yesterday we did backbends for the first time, which hurt my lower back a little bit but no too much that is caused pain or required me to stop. We also got up to Janu Shirshasana A and did the shoulder stand which at times was a little uncomfortable, but for a first try at them I think I did pretty well and am looking forward to doing them again.

In the Beginning...

2005-04-21T14:30:00.002-07:00

Well, here I am, actually writing a blog. I will primarily focus on my ashtanga practise along with other bits here and there.

I am very new to Ashtanga Vinyasa and yoga in general. I've only done 6mths of Gita Hatha at a local high school. I first heard of Ashtanga many years ago when a friend of mine at the time was doing it. Then years later heard that Madonna was doing it - not that I cared.

For some reason years later, I decided out of the blue that I wanted to do Ashtanga. So the next day I found a shala in my home town of Melbourne, Australia and took a casual beginners class. I walked out of that class feeling on top of the world. Seriously! I could not remember ever feeling so good after 1.5hrs. So I signed up then and there for a 6 week beginners course, 2 days a week at 6am. Today was the last day of that 6 week course. Monday is the beginning of the beginners 2 course - again for 6 weeks which provides a transition from beginners to mysore style classes. I can't wait to be at the shala more than 2 days a week at 6am practising. No one warned me that it would become addictive. Although I have a large amount of enthusiasm and motivation, I'm not going to rush myself into anything. One thing I have already learnt and continuing to learn more of is - Patience. I have six years of gymnastics and 3 years of ballroom dancing behind me which has helped me a lot. I know to be aware of my body and to listen to it so that I do not injure myself etc.

Already in 6 weeks I have changed a lot. I can't believe the doorways that have opened within me and around me. I am definitely a lot calmer. I'm reading Guruji's book "Yoga Mala" and John Scott's "Ashtanga Yoga" and have picked up all my old yoga books from 2 years ago and have begun to read more about Yoga. The spiritual/philosophical side is very interesting and feels familiar.

I've been following quite a few mysore/ashtanga blogs online and they have inspired me more and more, so thank you to those whose blogs I've read and have drawn inspiration from. Joey's 'Road to Mysore' , Russel's Mysore Musings blog, Alan's Mysore Diary, and others, etc. Even though I'm a complete beginner to the Astanga practise, I thought, "why not start a blog and see yourself progress even if I am a beginner" - no harm in it anyway. I feel a little weird as all the other people who have blogs have more experince, but hey - we all share a passion for ashtanga. We all start somewhere.

Not really sure what else to write in my first entry. Maybe some general info would help. Okay, a brief rundown. I'm a 23yo scorpion male living in Melbourne Oz, working as a web designer, am a middle eastern and african percussionist/drummer, studying pranic healing, learning to contact juggle, etc. the list goes on. More revealed on this thing over time.

Back to my practice for a sec...just so when I look back in months and even years time I can see where I was at the beginning. So far after 6 weeks we have been shown up to 'one leg folded back' (Tiriangmukhaipada Paschimattanasana). One major thing that stood out during this morning's practise was my losing breath during some of the sequence. I've pin-pointed a bit of this to exhaling to quickly coming out of a pose back into chaturanga, the exhaling should be slower to enable me to get into Chaturanga Dandasana without losing breath or holding my breath. Also, my balancing postures (standing leg raises & half-lotus bound, standing forward bend) seem to be more difficult than other postures. I have always suffered cramps in the soles of my feet for years and during these poses my feet get a little sore, but good sore, not painful. I can really feel the muscles working in my feet and this has helped my feet a tremendous amount. Once I build up more strength in my feet I assume I will be able to balance a lot easier. Well, I hope anyway. Knowing that I'm very new to this all, I'm aware it's all just time, patience and practice. I'm in no hurry. I just like to observe and learn the correct techniques to experience the full benefits of Ashtanga Vinyasa over time :)